Isobelle MannixThroughout his exposing memoir, This Boy’s Life, Tobias Wolff depicts what is shown to be the influences that initiate a personal battle for an identity, not his own, but a construction of those around him and also of his own insecurities. Toby’s personality is an intricate and difficult battle between the influence of materialism and his search for an identity that is self- satisfactory. His need for the Winchester gun to “complete” him demonstrates Toby’s reliance in the gun to bring him the power and status which accompanies a soldier, which without the gun, he feels incapable of achieving. The army uniform also designates a feeling of hidden control over the situation at hand within Toby, who feels “like a sniper.” This piece of clothing gives Toby enjoyment, shown by Wolff to reflect Toby’s inner desire to have full control over his own life such that by practising a control over the lives of others, Toby may distract himself from the displeasing reality he exists in and give him a sensation of self-esteem. Another occurrence of material possession bringing pleasure to Toby is through the sense of belonging and order in his life that Scouts brings. Wolff demonstrates through Toby’s achievements in Scouts that he is a very capable achiever when his current reality is ordered and his present identity is acceptable. This therefore validates Toby’s changes in his identity are possibly a result of his self-need in a material possession to be complete and also a dissatisfaction with reality. The relationships Toby forms with his peers during the course of This Boy’s Life greatly affect both his priorities as well as the way he sees himself. Arthur, the “uncoolest” boy in Chinook, shares the same values and longing for freedom that Toby does. However, Toby terminates his relationship with Arthur due to the friendship costing him notoriety at school and also the fact that Arthur ultimately accepts his life. Wolff exhibits a contrast between Arthur and Chuck, who wishes to be free of Chinook and thereby rebels, a tactic Toby adopts after rejecting the importance of getting good grades. Although Toby associates with the “outlaws” from Concrete, Wolff suggests Toby never feels he belongs but rather despises these rebels who do not fit his idea of masculinity for the way they treat women and behave. Subsequently being accepted into Hill School brings a short-lived hope for Toby to be an appealing character he has longed to be; “the scholar, star-athlete.” This is terminated by his failure to live up to this fabricated image and therefore resents having to return to who he truly is. Toby’s flawed sense of his identity, as Wolff suggests multiple time throughout this memoir, is a construction of his outside world and how his peers may benefit him in his journey for a sense of self. The dysfunctionality that Toby experiences during the novel through the many forms of families exhibits the reasoning behind his moral confusions. The absence of his own blood father provides the foundations for Toby’s pain and suppressed rage for a man who accepts no responsibility for his child. The additional male figures that enter Toby’s life continue to strengthen a lack of identity and responsibility. Firstly, Roy, a disturbed man who feels a need to control Rosemary, appeals to Toby and gives the basis for Toby’s perception of masculinity that “appeals to boys.” Here, Toby adopts the values his current “father figure” gives him; the soldier persona. Secondly, Dwight, an overly malicious and violent man, only pays interest in Toby when Toby is seeking advice on fighting. Otherwise, for the remainder of their cruel relationship, Toby absorbs his hatred for Dwight and releases this through his petty crimes by playing the role of the “master thief.” Through these father/son-like relationships, Wolff displays the idea that Toby’s irregular moral conscience is formed through the oppressive and semi-forced relationships that he has solely adapted and reacted to in the absence of a truly loving and forgiving father. Isobelle Mannix Consequently, the search for a true self is a creation of masculinity and materialism, peer pressure and changed values as well as disjointed families and poor father figures for Toby, who fights a personal battle to find himself. Wolff further executes the issues of identity by showing the reader our reality is not always what we desire it to be and we differ in how we deal with this issue.