Cracking Ok Cupid

1Copyright © 2015 by This Is Trouble http://www.thisistrouble.com 2 TABLE OF CONTENTS The Failure The Myths The First Impression The Pictures The Lies The Questions The Search The Screening The Opening The Conversation The Real World The Date The Bounce The FAQs The Finale 5 10 17 24 32 44 48 61 70 76 81 92 98 103 108 3 4 The Failure Mark sped home from work in excitement. He was finally, after weeks of messaging, meeting up with his dream girl from OKCupid. Rachel was cute, funny, smart, and they had a match rating of 84% according to the questions posed to them on the website. Mark was taking her out to dinner at the newly-opened Italian restaurant that was the talk of the town. Mark didn’t make very much money at his mundane office job, and finances were tight. He knew the Italian restaurant was pushing his budget, but rationalized that this is what it’d take to finally get Rachel to go out with him. He was willing to bite the bullet. Mark had been using OKCupid for two months now without much success. He’d managed to collect half a dozen phone numbers at this point, but this was his first date from the website. Hell, it was actually his first date in nearly six months, which was when his ex-girlfriend dumped him - because she felt the passion in their relationship was gone. He had created his OKCupid profile due to increasing pressure from his friends to get back in the dating game. After several weeks of their incessant nagging, Mark began the tedious process of picking his best pictures and crafting a witty profile. He also answering the never-ending questions that OKCupid threw at him – the questions that promised him more, and better, matches. After he’d had spent over five hours on this process, he started messaging women. Mark had read many articles about how to use online dating, and a universal piece of advice was to always read a women’s profile in its entirety. It was thought that this showed that you were a thoughtful, and caring individual – who truly wanted to get to know her, and cared far more about her personality than a man’s natural desire to simply put his penis in her vagina. Mark figured that because he’d read this advice from multiple sources, this must be how men are successful with online dating. He began the tedious process of scavenging every piece of information off the profile of every woman he had any interest in messaging. After making notes that would make a college professor proud, he started crafting the ultimate opening message to these girls. 5 He made sure to reference everything they had in common, pay them nice compliments, and using plenty of emoticons. These unique messages were usually at least 500 words. Mark sent about five of these messages every night he spent on OKCupid, which was usually about four nights a week. Out of the approximately twenty messages he sent out every week, he received an average of two responses. But none of that mattered now, because he was going out with Rachel now. Rachel! Mark couldn’t contain his excitement. Mark wanted everything to be perfect. On his way home from the office, he swung by the restaurant to make sure there was no issue with the reservation. After confirming there were no problems, he stopped at the grocery store to pick up a bouquet of flowers before heading home to get ready. The bouquet cost $12.95, but it was worth it for this girl. Mark walked in the door to his apartment at 5:30, and knew he had to leave his apartment at 6:25 to get to the restaurant fifteen minutes in advance of their 7:00 date. He couldn’t be late. Across town, Rachel was busy debating with her office friends whether she should go on the date with Mark, or just flake on him at the last second. After all, she had already been on another date this week and it was only Wednesday. Friday night would be a night out with the girls, and she’d already been invited by a hot guy from OKCupid to go pop a bottle at a major club on Saturday night. Rachel had been corresponding with Mark on OKCupid and text messaging for several weeks now. He had originally sent her a very nice opening message, that she thought was sweet but did nothing to excite her. When Mark first asked for her phone number, she had told him she wasn’t ready for that yet. In reality, she thought he wasn’t as exciting a prospect as the other two guys she gave her number to that night. However, Mark continued to persist despite the rejection. It was when he brought up wanting to try out the new Italian restaurant in town that Rachel perked up. She messaged him back saying that she would love to try it, as well – and gave Mark her phone number. That was one week ago, and Mark had texted her every day since then, telling her all about his day and how excited he was to meet her. The dread in Rachel had slowly been building up throughout the week, but it was a free meal. Mark had already insisted on 6 and noted. She knew she’d matured and was a much more sophisticated woman since the pictures had been taken. Mark sent her a text message asking where she was. Settling the bill with her friends. at 7:00. and shot off another text to Rachel letting her know that he was already at the table. Yes. Rachel had lost track of time at the bar with her friends. He began to wait while absentmindedly looking at the wine list. Her pictures were about three years old. Meanwhile. He stepped in the shower. there was still no sign of Rachel. Mark made sure he looked his best for Rachel. that Rachel did not look as good as her pictures. Shrugging this aside. Finally. he gave himself a fresh shave. and burying herself in the menu. taking care to scrub every inch of his body with soap. and this should surely offset the fifteen pounds she had gained over the past three years. ordering a cocktail. Finally. but rationalized that there was no need to go home and change out of her work clothes. Rachel decided to go on the date. that maybe it would be more bearable. He carefully picked out his best clothes – a nice pair of jeans and a freshly ironed dress shirt. After the shower. threw on a bit of cologne. but Rachel didn’t feel bad about it.paying. and verifying that she actually looked like the photos she had posted on OKCupid. At 7:00. immediately sitting down. she realized that she was hungry – how convenient that dinner was next on her schedule. 7 . and then heard his name called. He arrived at the restaurant at 6:45. he sat down outside to wait for his name to be called. he stood up to greet Rachel and stuck out his hand for a greeting. with disappointment. Mark saw her coming towards him. and slipped on his clothes. just as planned. He decided to go and sit down. She turned around to her girlfriends and asked if they would like to get a drink before she met up with Mark. After a quick freshening in the bathroom. prior to even meeting Rachel in person. Mark fidgeted nervously with his hands – they had already talked so much on OKCupid. After checking in with the hostess. she finally joined Mark at the table at 7:20. She took it and gave a small smile. and text messaging. these would suffice just fine. that he wasn’t sure what he had left to talk about. she hopped in a cab and finally arrived at the restaurant at 7:15. She hoped with a cocktail or two already in her prior to the date. he wound his watch and stepped out the door feeling very confident. As they hugged.” Rachel stated. Beef lasagna: $17 Salmon: $25 Cocktail: $8 Fudge cake: $12 Coffee: $3 After Mark paid the bill with tax and tip. However. Mark. After watching Rachel devour the majority of the fudge cake. When her cocktail arrived. Once they were outside of her apartment. I’m not that kind of girl. and drove the half hour back to his own home. “That’s a little too fast for me. 8 . Mark went for a kiss but his lips met Rachel’s cheek. the total came to $82. After ordering their food (Mark ordered the beef lasagna. wished her a good night amid an awkward hug. left Rachel in a position feeling it was unsafe to drive. Rachel finally looked up. Rachel thanked Mark for a great night. as soon as he finished the story. right? How about some fudge cake?” Never one to turn down chocolate. not her lips. the couple made a bit of small talk about their days. Rachel the salmon and spinach fettuccine). He sighed to himself and tried to convince himself it was worth it as he watched Rachel scraping the last ounce of fudge off of her plate.“She already knows everything about me!” Mark thought to himself in panic. he offered dessert. Mark sensed he was blowing it as the waiter cleared their main dishes. as clearly evidenced by the fifteen pounds gained since her pictures were taken Rachel pounced on the opportunity ordering a coffee for good measure. “You like chocolate. she coyly asked if he would mind giving her a ride home. Hoping to make up for it. plus the one at the restaurant. Mark took a look at the bill. The two cocktails she had before dinner. but Mark agreed to drive her home anyway. Mark said he understood. Mark thought he had made progress when he told her how he had saved the day at work by fixing a programming blunder that his colleague had made. Knowing what a gentleman Mark was. Rachel buried herself in her salmon again without the slightest hint of interest in him. She apologized about living fifteen minutes in the opposite direction of him. Mark texted Rachel. Rachel never replied. telling her what a great time he had. and asked if she would like to go to an art exhibit on Saturday with him. crafting new 500 word opening messages in an attempt to find a new dream girl. On Saturday she went to a club with the guy from OKCupid.” Mark ended up spending Saturday night on his computer. His opening message to her was “hey.The next day. She got drunk and fucked him in the alley behind the club. It’s too bad Mark didn’t have a book telling him how to really crack OKCupid. 9 . e. all looking for help on how to best navigate the OKCupid dating waters.THE MYTHS Mark’s story is similar to that of many men who have tried OKCupid. However. The majority of these searchers are men. the 1-10 rating is based almost entirely off of looks. or other forms of online dating. I wrote a post on This Is Trouble. Another man’s 9 will only be a 7 to the guy next to him. For a man. Myth #1 . she will probably be an 8. femininity.” A year later. and a more comprehensive guide. which usually ere on the side of obese. going on dates. If she has an excellent body (i. I decided to put everything that I had learned over my own years of online dating into a book. Every girl has a type that based on drastically more complex standards than your average man. This book will allow any man to create a profile from scratch and experience success. If she’s not overweight. and fitness can all be judged the same based around a pair of boobs and a vagina. I’m talking about American body types. individual profile reviews. One man’s 8 will be another man’s 10. If these men were getting lots of responses. and having lots of sex – they wouldn’t be on Google looking for help with OKCupid. It should come as no surprise that this book does not contain the conventional advice that many “gurus” on mainstream sites provide. better than average) and a good face. that likely places her at a 6 on the scale to start.Looks There are many people that fully believe the only guys who get dates online are “10s”. Let’s start by clarifying that there are no 10s in a woman’s world. If you want to have success on OKCupid. it’s subjective. you must push aside the myths that many people have pushed upon you. titled “5 Tips To Cracking OKCupid. I know this because in 2013. thousands of readers have found that article through Google and various other search engines. After that. 10 . After an overwhelming amount of requests for additional information. the foundation of the 1-10 rating scale is solid because men generally agree that beauty. For simplicity’s sake. Understand that those articles are catered to both women and men – and must be politically correct. A fat man with all of these qualities in spades will still be able to attract women. side shots. a man who is in shape will likely do better than one who is fat.. but the difference isn’t as marked as that between a fat and slim woman. There is just no way of telling until you open your mouth and give yourself a shot. The real point I’m trying to drive home with this is this: looks don’t matter as many would have you believe. I’ve run profiles without any pictures to test this theory. A fat woman with these qualities is the woman who ends up on the TV show Hoarders for owning too many cats. upbringings. taking full advantage of all the tricks girls use (lighting. etc. you have a split second of their attention. You just have to pick the best picture you can. Or. women have a lot more to be attracted. One woman’s 10 might be another woman’s 3. You must capture it quickly or you’ll be tossed aside quicker than another pair of semen-stained panties. if you’re truly as ugly as a toad. that doesn’t mean you are out of the online dating game. confidence. you can still have outstanding success on OKCupid. Starting to come together? Due to the various differences in personalities. secret-fat-hiding shots. When you’re messaging girls on OKCupid. or not attracted to. I’m here to tell you that it’s simply not true. 11 . I once made a profile without a picture and proved this.exactly like men. Even if you are ugly. OKCupid and other technology based dating mediums forces them to base their initial desire off of looks alone. One woman’s 6 might be another’s 1. and had astounding results with it. We’re talking 50% response rates.you guessed it . money.) and use them to your benefit. and will even be loved by them. So.If only women were so simple. until you copy and paste the same message you sent to the previous hundred girls. What’s fascinating about OKCupid and other online dating sites or apps is that it deemphasizes what a woman would naturally consider attractive and instead makes them . Many people will tell you that your pictures will absolutely make or break you in terms of your OKCupid success. All other things being equal. in this case. effects. and charisma. etc. Women are attracted to power. Women know this deep down. so please don’t message me if that is your intention. because women don’t want to be perceived as sluts by their friends or by you. “ Women love to talk. This statement is a vain attempt to give you the impression that they aren’t like other girls who talk too much . A friend of mine (credit: LaidNYC.no matter how insane and illogical they are . so please don’t message me if that is your intention. Anyways.” This one is the closest to being the truth. much make it known in a public space. This behavior is a biological firewall. They especially love to talk about themselves. “Anyways. men are still disgusted by the thought of committing to a long-term relationship with a slut.to her grave. She will rationalize her actions . As much as today’s culture promotes equal opportunity and encourages girls to be slutty. you’ll discover that at least half of them have something written within their first few paragraphs along these lines: “Hi! I’m new to this whole online dating thing and not sure how to fill out my selfsummary.which is nearly every girl on the planet.” 12 .Women are on dating sites because they want something serious and are tired of the bar scene Once you start looking at women’s profiles on OKCupid. in a million years. Even if a woman truly was on a dating website or app with the sole intention of hooking up. convince herself of that. “A girl saying she can go out and get laid is like me saying I can buy a girl dinner.Myth #2 . “I’m new to this whole online dating thing and not sure how to fill out my self-summary. I’m not very good at talking about myself.” Let’s debunk every lie in this generic statement. I am NOT looking to just hook-up. I have gotten tired of meeting guys at bars and my friends encouraged me to try this out. I’m not very good at talking about myself. she would never. rest in peace) summed this up well when he said. their lives. I am NOT looking to just hook-up. so they go through every trick in the book to tell themselves they aren’t a slut. and their friends. breathing woman? No. This world has gone from a place where face-to-face interaction was required in all aspects of life to a world in which face-to-face interaction is now considered inferior to technological communications. While some people will say. picking up a girl in person is considered the “weird” thing to do. Remember how a man used to be considered a coward if he wouldn’t call a woman on the phone to ask her out? These days. never developing the skills to talk to a real. Am I saying you should use OKCupid so you can cower behind your keyboard and monitor. rather than later. you need look no further than how text messaging has developed over the past couple of years. I can’t tell you how many times a girl that said she didn’t want to hook up ended up face down. some women are genuinely looking for relationships on OKCupid. the myth I’m debunking here is that when they say they aren’t looking for a hookup . and horrendous guy-to-girl ratios at nearly every social venue. namely those that have full time jobs. This is especially the case in today’s world of overpriced drinks.it doesn’t mean they won’t. I wouldn’t be shocked if it is sooner. 13 . Truthfully. who cares what other people think about you? You are your own man and nobody else should have any say over how you meet women. “Do day game!” it’s easy to realize that this is not a realistic option for all people. or Match at some point in their lives. he’d be labeled as a weirdo if he did call her. absolutely not. Tinder. To show that OKCupid and other technological ways of meeting women are no longer shameful tactics.Now. Only time will tell if someday. I know a few people that met their eventual husband or wife on an online dating site. ass up on the first date. you should know this: our generation is beyond the point where online dating is considered weird or shameful. live. But. bitch shields. Plenty of Fish. Nearly every person I know between the ages of 18-40 has used OKCupid.People will think I’m “weird” for doing online dating. But you needn’t feel ashamed of using OKCupid as a viable tool in your dating arsenal. Now that we’ve established that you shouldn’t be ashamed for fucking girls off OKCupid. Some of them truly won’t hook up with you on the first date. Texting is now considered perfectly acceptable and normal as a way of asking a woman out. Myth #3 . build your body. If you truly had to sift through her ten to fifteen paragraphs of bullshit and then craft a perfectly penned original message to her.) Read a woman’s profile in its entirety. Hell. you’ll know that women love some level of some mystery in a man. You know what the real problem is with the advice to read every profile and personalize a message? You would spend the entirety of your free time doing exactly this. I fully advocate copying and pasting the same message to every single woman on OKCupid within a second of opening her profile and seeing that she’s not dog-ugly. 2.) Carefully craft a message to her based off her profile and your interests. Which means you wouldn’t be able to pursue cool hobbies.Myth #4 . Don’t listen to the experts. that last piece of advice is stupid on its face. but also not too short. there is no need for personalized messages. 14 . or is dyslexic? What’s too long then? What’s too short? OKCupid “experts” are full of awful advice you should ignore. detailed profile There is no need to tell your entire life story in your OKCupid profile. Spilling your soul on a profile is not the way to be mysterious.You need to personalize every message All of the so-called “experts” on OKCupid and online dating advocate that you must do the following things: 1. In addition. including my own blog). You do not need to personalize every message. and generally do the things that make you more attractive to women in the first place. If we go back to Attraction 101 (countless resources out there. What if she has ADD.) Said message should be not too long. 3. Myth #5 . and be able to recite her answers from memory. In fact. you don’t even need to be bothered to read the profile.Success requires a long. you’d be lucky to get out five messages sent in an hour. you should also read every question she has answered. those few paragraphs are all within the “Self Summary” section. You can talk about those things on the first date. On top of that. total.Personally. once attraction has already been established. my OKCupid profile has rarely had more than two or three paragraphs. OKCupid profiles are no exception to this. less is more. I don’t waste my time talking about my favorite movies and the six things I could never live without. Memorize that phrase and apply it to everything in your life as it relates to women. Until then. 15 . ▪ Do not personalize every message to every woman. the better off you will be. ▪ You are not weird for using online dating to meet girls. which is what all girls do anyway – so don’t feel bad about it. and the sooner you accept this.SUMMARY ▪ You do not need to be a “10” in order to be successful on OKCupid. We are well into the 21st century. you can be ugly and have success. ▪ Women will never admit they are on a dating site for sex. In fact. to using an LED screen to compensate. You just need to make your pictures the best you can. and technology is continuing to take us away from in person interactions. those who claim they want a serious relationship will hop right into bed with you if your game is strong. ▪ Be a little mysterious. However. Many people who would better off if they’d just accept this. Copying and pasting a generic opener that is successful is the best method to getting dates without wasting enormous amounts of your precious time. Do not tell your life story on your profile. ▪ Men and women are not attracted to the same thing. 16 . but this is a great opportunity to make fun of yourself. so put a little effort into the matter. using the username “sn0boarder77” is a cliché. Granted. Congruent means your username shouldn’t be something lame or cheesy – use your best judgment. This is the least important part of your profile. but don’t sweat it. and I’ve never seen a large enough drop off in response rates to warrant running a test to see the effectiveness of usernames. and they will often bring it up as a way of establishing rapport with you once you’ve started a conversation. they will likely be poking fun at you. but remember that your username is the first thing that they see along with your picture. thanks to the high expectations this book sets). What I will say is that usernames like I’ve listed above will give girls a conversation starter with you if they are so inclined. being able to have a bit of self-depreciating humor shows that you don’t take yourself too seriously – and you shouldn’t give the impression that you are treating online dating like a life or death matter. I’ve had a lot of success with usernames along the lines of:     ImAPrincess CupidPlayer CassanovaCupid Troublemaker I have also run profiles without any sort of attention grabbing username. It is unlikely that a girl will actually hold that against you. it’s time to start filling out the rest of your textual profile 17 . Once you’ve selected a username (a more tedious process now. I’ve always had a profile that skirts the line of being a charming bastard. but you do want it to be congruent with the rest of your profile. Granted. In today’s world of men who are “sensitive”. some of you probably already have active profiles prior to purchasing this book.The First Impression The first thing you must do when you create your OKCupid profile is pick a username. establishing attraction and outcome independence with her. If you love snowboarding. Therefore. If you utilize a sarcastic and cocky profile like I do. 18 . congruency is vital. she will be confused when you meet up for the first date. I’ve used parts of other profiles I’ve seen referenced over the years to craft this one – specifically the first two paragraphs. photos. Please do not copy this word for word. and more are covered in depth in the next chapters). women will catch on and you will get called out. I’ll admit. I simply don’t want hundreds and thousands of young men across the world using this exact profile. Then all of us will have to write new profiles. I strongly encourage you to use Cracking OKCupid and other resources to piece together a beginning profile. exactly word for word. If that attitude isn’t you in real life. you did pay for this book. In regards to your profile. In no way whatsoever should you ever copy and paste a profile. Be prepared to back up what your profile states. I’m going to show exactly what I have written in my current profile. I don’t say this as a way to be selfish or keep all the goodies to myself. or even parts of one. for the reasons listed above. To start.(questions. your messages need to match that. After all. Sooner or later. If you’re in college studying aerospace engineering. and food The six things I could never do without I spend a lot of time thinking about On a typical Friday night I am You should message me if What I’m doing with my life This is a section that is set up to make men fail.You probably made the assumption this is the ‘My self-summary’ section. Stating that you’re a doctor is okay. you can mention it. music. and are wondering where the rest of my profile is. There is no universally “correct” answer. OKCUPID PROFILE SECTIONS        What I’m doing with my life I’m really good at Favorite books. write that you are hoping to work at NASA in the near future. You certainly can fill out the rest of your profile. As I discuss later in this book. If you flip burgers. that section is the only part of my profile that I have filled out. If you don’t. then you should either spin that statement to be more positive or substitute sarcasm as necessary. write that you are working on an album. and I’m going to help you do it. However. The concept of “less is more” will repeatedly show itself throughout the contents of this book. writing that you are the 19 . shows. but don’t make a big deal out of it. lying or slightly exaggerating the truth is completely fair game. say that you’re a chef. The trick to all of these “lies” is to own them and hold your frame. A profession that’s a jackpot for a girl who’s a teacher would be chump change for the girl who is a lawyer. movies. I have had success both ways. but this is how I currently run my profile. As you read the breakdowns of what you should and shouldn’t write in the respective sections. Well. If you are a poor musician performing on the street. Filling out the summary is the most important part of a good profile. and you could even go into the specifics of your practice. In the case that you have a solid and stable career that would impresses girls. you should say it. The other sections of an OKCupid profile are listed below. If you have something that is cool or interesting to share. you will notice a common theme. Some examples:       Musical instruments Artistic talents Dancing Sports Cooking Juggling. Don’t fret too much about what you put here. For your reference. but here goes. here are careers that will generally be attractive to women. Just saying that you like to play pickup basketball with your friends is dull. it’s a real thing!) and occasionally like to 20 . the section becomes much more interesting. interests. as I explain in the “Myths” chapter of this book. here is what I would personally write. but the only song I’m really good at playing is Wonderwall. Every girl is going to have different qualities that she finds attractive in a man.number one brain surgeon in California and you save four lives a day is overkill and will make you look like an insecure tool.         Doctors Lawyers Engineers (provided you make good money and aren’t “uber” geeky) Firemen Police officers Personal trainers Musicians and artists. I’ve played guitar for ten years now. I raced go karts growing up (yes. you should share them. and any special talents you may possess. If you need a starting point. If you have cool hobbies or talents. but if you elaborate it and tell a story about how you hit a half-court buzzer beater in 5th grade and that it is your career highlight. or other silly tricks Make sure you elaborate on what you are really good at. though these are hit or miss Most positions where there is money and/or power involved I’m really good at This section is dedicated to your hobbies. I feel like this section would be far more entertaining if it was what I’m not good at. air. music and love are all extremely cliché. mentioning family. Nicki Minaj. In fact. friends. but is truthful – because if she brings it up. because it makes you look desperate. Also pass on mentioning sex as one of the six things you couldn’t do without. The talk about your “favorites” is what boring men talk about when they run out of things to say on a date. iPhones. it peers too far into your personal life. here is what I’ve written. food (as a general term). you need to be able to hold a conversation about it. not a life necessity. potentially killing all the mystery about yourself before a girl has a chance to meet you. this is it. and food If you are going to skip a section. Note that talking about how you won a video game championship playing Call of Duty is not something that will inspire moist vaginas. shows. make sure it’s not lame. Remember. music. The six things I could never do without First off. These six items should be personal to you. I like to be very sarcastic. so don’t do it. The Notebook. or cupcakes. I recommend you do. This means no mention of Twilight. water. Favorite books. On top of that. besides Taylor Swift and 50 Shades of Grey?      Puppies. because who doesn’t love fucking puppies My guitar That little voice in my head that tells me not to do stupid things A suga mama …you? 21 . You mean. I’m also really good at saying the alphabet backwards. These are topics that people who are dating eventually begin to discover about each other because they genuinely like each other.go drifting around parking lots in the dead of night. For example. movies. Sex and the City. If you insist on filling this part out. not something that should be read on an iPhone screen as a resume. which most of the above “don’ts” are. As a result. 22 . In fact. your thought processes should be about how you will kill your upcoming workout. unless you have something truly inspiring. This is a section that won’t hurt you to skip. Obviously. your business. I’m out and about coaching my clients that come to me via my self-improvement blog. you are a man who is too busy with cool activities going on in his life to waste time daydreaming about nothing. all the better. If not. watching The Notebook. I’m probably eating ice cream out of the carton. I recommend you leave this section alone.I spend a lot of time thinking about Ideally. if you can’t come up with anything good. While you don’t want to seem like a loser who doesn’t have anything going on Friday nights. or other interests and/or passions in your life. If you have an interesting life that allows you access to the exclusive tiers of the nightlife crowd. A good chunk of the time. a woman will be drawn to this. Stating your high standards in a way that comes across as genuinely humble gives off the impression that you are a high value man with his choice of women in the world. you also don’t want to give the impression that you are an out-of-control party animal who can’t grow up. Biologically. An example of what I’ve used: Nothing is typical about my Fridays. You should message me if This is your best chance in the entire profile to clearly state that you have high standards for a girl you are going to go out with. The ending of the profile I previously showed is actually an excellent template to write this section. and crying about the latest girl who broke my heart. by all means you should talk about it – and if you can back it up with pictures. there is an exception to this with the party girls. On a typical Friday night I am Be cautious with this one. which benefits you in all aspects of life. The ending of your profile is your chance to clearly spell out the expectations for the women who are involved in your life.I'd love to meet someone that is at a similar point in life (young professional) to get into some trouble with. Doing this will instill a greater selfconfidence. and continue to hold yourself to the high standards you will set. that’s simply too bad. I dabble in various sports. I strongly encourage you to give this section some real thought. it means I take care of myself as a whole). 23 . and enjoy taking random adventures to Europe of Mexico for the hell of it once in a while. play guitar. I do tend to get along a lot better with people who are a little older than me. I enjoy a fit LIFESTYLE (that does NOT mean I go to the gym and walk on a treadmill once a week. so don't hold it against me. If a girl on OKCupid doesn’t like it. 24 . and others will be the death of your response rate (six things.  Some sections are good to demonstrate high value (what you’re good at.  Often times.  Congruency is critical to the process. your username should give her an opportunity to make conversation with you. Don’t hesitate to experiment. less is more. something is going to seem off to the girls you go out with. Of course. favorite things).  There are many great resources scattered online about how to write a profile. and use a different city if you want to make drastic changes and see the results.SUMMARY  Pick a username that isn’t cliché. track your progress via an Excel spreadsheet. Ideally. Don’t feel compelled to write a novel for each section of your profile. Your profile should match up with the man who messages girls and then takes them out on dates. what you’re doing. you should message me if). If you are an asshole online and then a sappy nice guy in person. but this is one time you can take their advice. in no way shape or form should your main profile picture be too busy. doesn’t it? But you would be amazed at how many people don’t do this. this is something that a female friend/sister/mom can actually give you good advice on. What makes up your best photo? That’s subjective. Usually. especially in today’s world of selfies. and see if a pattern holds true. I mean that you should simply be the focus of the picture.The first picture should (obviously) be your best This seems fairly obvious. it’s simply a lack of knowledge. However. female advice is wellintentioned but flawed. you’ll be asked to upload a picture. 25 . I have seven rules of building your photos. When I say this. then perhaps a full body picture is in order.. If you’re in good shape. not a large group. Rule #1 . you will have more success if you actually do upload photos and good photos at that. Put your best face forward. I’ve looked over and reviewed dozens of men’s profiles at this point and it is a consistent pattern. are all amateur professional photographers when it comes to getting the angles just right to illuminate (read: manipulate) their features exactly to the way they want. I don’t even think its bad taste.The Pictures When you register your OKCupid account. If you can’t tell yourself what your best photo is. Ask a couple of trusted females to rank some photos of you. While I debunked the whole “pictures are everything” myth earlier. then maybe a side profile photo is your best shot. Girls in general. If you have an ugly mug. once past the age/gender/ preferences section. My theory on this is it’s because there are simply too many guys out there all trying that trick in a desperate ploy to get a girl’s attention. The key is to be out and about doing something to show off that body . It’s an automatic disqualification. I’ve seen plenty of guys get ignored from my female friends on OKCupid simply because they had a shirtless selfie on their profile. A man utilizing shirtless pictures to make up for an obvious lack of self-esteem is similar to a fat chick taking off her clothes hoping it makes up for her being fat. you are safe to go ahead and use them. 26 . It’s not a pretty sight. or other athletic activities. While I’ve never used a shirtless picture as my main picture.not sitting around in your bathroom taking pictures in the mirror. Again. in the proper context. insecurity-reeking profile and an even more eye-rolling opening message. will absolutely make a girl more attracted to you. For whatever reason though. If you have pictures of yourself shirtless playing beach volleyball. the shirtless mirror picture tends to cross that line into too arrogant. it’s worth reiterating that women are not basing their entire attraction off of a set of washboard abs (certainly doesn’t hurt) like men base nearly their entire attractions off of boobs and ass.Rule #2 . Just stay away from the selfies and mirror shots. swimming.Be careful with the shirtless mirror pictures I know that a big theme in this book is that girls like a bit of arrogance. Other shirtless pictures. Girls sense their overall low value and realize that the shirtless selfie is just a way of trying to make up for that lack of confidence. abs showing) to great success. I used a picture of me in my wetsuit (top unzipped. Now. so the following advice might seem counterintuitive. It’s usually followed up by a poorly written. this applies to shirtless selfies and mirror pictures. Other chicks .Regarding others. if a girl is 28-32. It might win you some points. it’s best to break these situations into sub-rules. It doesn’t matter if it’s an actually cute puppy or if it’s one of those ugly ones that you just simply feel sorry for. you’ll be stuck wining and dining her while she plots how to best poke a hole in the condom in your wallet. It very much depends upon your age and the age of the girl you’re hoping to land. She might see your friend and think. Go back and read about how one woman’s 10 is another’s 3. However. Utilize a picture with a puppy and it’s guaranteed to be something she will mention.Never. But. This means that you won’t be getting the fast sex she readily supplied to men in her past endeavors. Potential new dates will think you are a player. Having a dog like that in your OKCupid profile will lose you points.Be really careful with this one. There is only one exception to this rule.Are a great idea.Rule #3 .You can absolutely put other chicks in your pictures. I wonder if he’s single…” Babies . “What does he have going for him that such a hot girl is with him?” “I’m not that hot…shit. Puppies . Instead. or it might be a completely neutral outcome. “Hmm. a hot girl by your side will send the female’s brain into hamster overdrive. you can bet every dollar you spent on this book that she is going to look at you with that baby and immediately lock you into the provider zone. in your photos In regards to this rule. and you’re older. The puppy can’t be a gay small dog that you wouldn’t be surprised to be seen being carried around in a woman’s purse. but there is one condition: they need to be hot. A girl who is 18-21 is going to see you with a baby and probably think that it’s cute. or props. It’s hard to go wrong. 27 . am I ugly? Should I kill myself? Or better yet…kill her…” Other dudes . I wouldn’t even bother with average or “cute” girls. Just keep the actual rule itself in mind . like you in a large group setting where it’s tough to identify who you are. I wouldn’t bother. hobbies. Would you put “partying” on your job application? While there certainly are party girls on OKCupid. activities. the vast majority of females are going to be turned off by the image of you double fisting a couple of 40’s while simultaneously looking as if you’re about to hurl your guts everywhere. it’s not something women are actively looking for. Frankly. I’m aware that many guys who use OKCupid are on it because they’re more comfortable in front of a screen with a keyboard in their hands. There is no reason for you to show your super wild side in these pictures. While the frat boy persona can work well at a fraternity party. if you’re not in a top frat you are much better off not even joining a fraternity at all. if your party photo album consists of you dressed up like another Average Joe. then it’s not a bad idea to show this off.unless they are in one of the top frats. or from showing any pictures in which there is alcohol involved. Just know that the following hobbies are rarely cool to women. Rule #5 . The fraternity. don’t fret that’s why you have this book. It doesn’t reflect well on you. However. If you are a promoter. my experience showed me that most girls don’t find frat boys attractive . 28 . party guy image is generally not attractive to women.Activities in pictures I touched briefly on this in Rule #1.Don’t be a frat boy. when I stated that your main profile picture shouldn’t be too busy. This rule doesn’t mean you can’t show a picture of yourself drinking a beer at a BBQ.Rule #4 . or have great connections in the nightlife industry. you should absolutely be utilizing these. provided you adhere to following the previously listed rules. If this is you. suited up sipping on a gin and tonic. However. not just your main profile picture. Even at university.do not look like an idiotic frat boy. If you have pictures of you suited up in a VIP table. this rule applies to all of your photos. and pictures of you doing cool things are an exception to this. To be clear. geeky hobbies -> You get labeled as . Women are brutal judges and this will not help you build attraction. wakeboarding. In any case. Cool. If you’re interested in that. I’m going to go ahead and assume that you are focusing on landing a quantity of quality girls on OKCupid and not looking for one nerdy diamond in the rough. 29 . active hobbies -> You get labeled as adventurous. Finally.a nerd.) Endurance sports are fine (triathlons. there are exceptions to the rules. the following activities (and many others) are acceptable. snowboarding. or other type of LCD/LED screen. etc. Neither will that picture of you dressed up as a Star Wars character at ComicCon. provided. “fun”.     Hunting. skating. Nerdy. No. But for the sake of simplicity. paying close attention to their reaction. or other outdoor activities Martial arts Any extreme sports (mountain biking.) How do I know this? I’ve tested dozens of my own photos and run trial and error profiles. that you have adhered to the other rules that I’ve laid out. fishing. marathons. Ditto for anything else that you’d imagine a the popular guy in high school making fun of a nerd for. though. television. This is all based off of the actions and results I have observed hundreds of time over the course of doing online dating for several years. etc.   Video games Anime Basically anything that involves a computer.you guessed it . Granted. girls who are nerds themselves may be drawn to pictures involving these activities. the picture of you winning the local Counter-Strike tournament won’t help your cause. I’ve analyzed my student’s profiles their results. I wouldn’t be able to tell you how to get laid on those. etc. I’ve watched some of my girl friends interact with men on OKCupid. there are sites out there dedicated solely to helping gamers meet and date. and happy relationship. more. you will speak about half (or less!) of the amount that a girl does. and other social media sites for good measure. and you’ll come to recognize this as you have more in depth interactions with them. more. As I’ve already covered. Giving a woman a photo album of your entire life prior to seeing her in person is a ticket to pass go.More. Don’t do it. Facebook. healthy. In an ideal. It’s all just filler. no. On OKCupid. 30 . and just convey general nonsense a good portion of the time. you might as well link your Instagram. I used only one photo of myself on my OKCupid profile. What made that photo so good?     It utilized my side profile. Girls don’t want a man who is too emotional This is why Rule #1 regarding picking the best of your pictures is so critical. No. For a very long time. laid back vibe and was not smiling. The same experts telling you to wear your emotions on your sleeve and tell women everything are telling you to upload an entire photographer’s portfolio to your OKCupid account. giving it a little intrigue and mystery I had a guitar (massive attraction for girls) I presented more of a casual.Rule #6 . which is one of my stronger features It was black and white. I had significantly more success with it than I did when I had anywhere from 5-10 photos. less is more. Women tend to speak. Another myth the OKCupid “experts” like to spit out is that you should use every available photo slot you can. women are judging in a similar way a man would judge women. write.when it comes to women. NO. While you’re at it. by looks alone. and will continue to harp on . and proceed directly to the Friend Zone. as opposed to uploading seven photos. From the chapter regarding OKCupid myths. women are a fickle bunch. one of which makes her say.” 31 . It’s better to show her three outstanding photos which turn her on. ever-changing scale on which they judge men.Don’t give her a reason not to respond As mentioned before. you’ll remember that women have a dynamic. and eventually to just one is that by showing too many photos I was giving women a reason not to respond to me. The reason I started downsizing from a dozen pictures. The point of this rule goes hand in hand with #6 (less is more). It might be different based on where they are in their monthly cycle and I’m not kidding.Rule #7 . down to three. “Eh. Enigmas. Babies. ▪ Rule #4: You are no longer in college. 32 .SUMMARY ▪ Rule #1: Start your profile off strong. Mountain biking or kicking someone’s ass in Krav Maga – cool. ▪ Rule #2: If you’re going to go shirtless. no. the first picture should be the best. Get help from your friends to help you determine what your best picture is. Therefore. or other activities where you are out having a good time are perfectly acceptable for you to rock the shirtless look. yes. beach volleyball. ▪ Rule #3: Hot girls. Uploading your entire life’s timeline of pictures spoils the mystery for the girl. Other dudes. ▪ Rule #6: Less is more. absolutely. Puppies. maybe. Pro tip: don’t be fat. don’t be in front of a mirror. ▪ Rule #7: Keep it simple and don’t give her a reason to disqualify you off the bat by putting up a picture not worthy of your profile. ▪ Rule #5: Be careful about what hobbies you show in your pictures. retire the pictures of you doing the keg stand. Video games and anime – not cool. Surfing. mystery. intrigue. ORIENTATION Options: ▪ Straight ▪ Gay ▪ Bisexual 33 . You must fill this out. there is a box for small details about you. However.THE LIES On the right hand side of your profile. ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ Orientation Ethnicity Height Body Type Diet Smokes Drinks Drugs Religion Sign Education Job Income Relationship Status Relationship Type Offspring Pets Speaks The great thing about this little box is that it’s hands down your best opportunity to lie about yourself and get away with it. this must be done in moderation. I will explain in each section below how much you can get away with. it contains the following information. I would still list yourself as straight. However. such as my green eyes. Ultimately. I like white girls more than other races. 34 . If you swing both ways and are truly bisexual. I don’t dislike Asian girls. I’d say I look more on the white side. there are no double standards between women and men. However. It may take some experimenting to get it right. ETHNICITY This isn’t one I would lie about. and sometimes I have the telltale squinty eyes. half Asian. In fact. go on Grinder. because it will be pretty obvious you’re not black when you show up to a date with sunburn on your pale face. Instead. there is a bit of leeway for those with multiple cultures in their blood. I identify on my profile as white. Therefore. Most women answer ‘no’ to this. you should put white. put Asian. it’s your call to make based off of your personal preferences and the demographics in your area. For example. one of the OKCupid questions (covered in a later chapter) asks if you would be with someone who’s had homosexual sex. If you’re white. They have higher prestige than Asians do. Remember. and shoulders. but it’s much more hit and miss with them. While most guys are turned on by a woman who is bisexual. You do have the option to list multiple. While I’m not going to argue race beyond this paragraph – for the most part in America. White girls have a broader “scale” that I’m open to. are definitely more prominent. white people are the more “valued” race. If you need help picking up dudes. they are simply different standards. my best features. I think they’re either drop-dead gorgeous or it just doesn’t do it for me. I only listed white. Therefore. it’s in your best interest to keep it straight. it’s just a personal preference. but since I’m a half white guy mostly attracted to white girls. but I do have darker (“yellow”) skin. I’m a “Wasian” – half white. dark hair. If you’re Asian.The only acceptable answer to this is that you are straight. women aren’t usually turned on by bisexual men. facial hair. so you should give yourself a little boost. BODY TYPE Options: ▪ Rather not say ▪ Thin ▪ Overweight ▪ Skinny ▪ Average ▪ Fit ▪ Athletic ▪ Jacked ▪ A little extra ▪ Curvy ▪ Full-figured ▪ Used up Just like height. and won't be too happy about the matter. However. skinny people are usually relatively fit. so to speak. Personally.you're golden. So just put fit or athletic. Your exaggeration(s) should be within reason. Girls will hold it against you if you're not up to their height standards.HEIGHT This is one of the things you can get away with lying about. This is all assuming that you are a charmer in person and can deflect any shit tests about your lie. And again. she's going to realize it immediately upon meeting you. First. let's tackle guys who are naturally skinny or thin. I stand about 5'8" but have 5'10" listed on my profile. If you're 6' tall. isn’t as attractive as athletic or fit. There are a lot of grey areas of what constitutes a body type on online dating. Two inches is the maximum amount you should add on to your height. 35 . or just be so damn attractive she simply doesn't care that you're a few inches shorter than what you claimed. No need to exaggerate. If you're 5'6" but indicate that you're 5'11". and you absolutely should be lying if you're less than six feet tall. skinny or thin. Understand that you must be reasonable with this. congratulations . this is assuming you can be a bit of a charmer in person. Writing down that you are in fact. this is one of the things you should lie about if you don't have an ideal body. On the other hand. There is enough conscious hatred from girls on guys with ab pictures. "Average" in today's world is pretty subjective. you need to be more careful. So even if you occasionally smoke. Those are girly terms. Here in America though. and can't get by with putting average. if you're overweight. so try to show a bit of modesty with this. DIET Options: ▪ Anything ▪ Vegetarian ▪ Vegas ▪ Kosher ▪ Halal ▪ Other Tell the truth in regards to your diet. just put overweight and own it. many girls are absolutely repulsed by a smoker. If you actually are jacked. simply because so many more people smoke on that side of the Atlantic. If you're really big. Under no circumstances should you put that you are full figured or curvy. SMOKING Options: ▪ Yes ▪ Sometimes ▪ When drinking ▪ Trying to quit ▪ No Disclaimer: I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. If you're 20 pounds overweight. don’t tell. you can pretty much disregard this advice. Smoking has a pretty big stigma against it in modern American culture. I would recommend downplaying it a bit and just putting that you're athletic. I 36 . and girls abuse it to no end. Show. put average. If you're using OKCupid in Europe. and have the pictures to show it. recommend putting no. as it makes you look like a raging alcoholic. sometimes. you're probably better off putting ‘Socially’ in most circumstances. we are trying to eliminate reasons for her not to respond to you. You’ll be meeting her for drinks on the first date anyway. you'll be able to get your fix and pass it off as "social drinking". more than anything. Many will respect you for this. simply put that. marijuana isn't really considered much of a drug. If you don't drink. This is obviously different if she smokes too. put that you're trying to quit. Nearly everybody drinks socially these days. and this is your safest bet.'Very often'. So. Don't ever put this. Under no circumstances should you put 'Yes' as your answer because this will absolutely be a deal breaker for nearly any girl who doesn’t smoke. but they probably aren't the girls that you're looking for anyway. DRINKING Options: ▪ Very often ▪ Often ▪ Socially ▪ Rarely ▪ Desperately ▪ Not at all Let's start with the easy one . Many girls put on their profile that they are '420 friendly' but then 37 . Again. Even 'Often' seems kind of harsh. I think it’s fair to say that in today's culture. but you can see that on her profile and then bring it up if appropriate. even if you are a raging alcoholic. If you’re a chain smoker. or that you do when drinking. DRUGS Options: ▪ Never ▪ Sometimes ▪ Often While the most I've personally never dabbled with in regards to drugs is a bite of a pot brownie. Instead. The crazy party girls might not like this. religious girls waiting until marriage to have sex has dwindled drastically. The familial pressure to find a life partner of the same religion is nearly nonexistent because most people simply aren’t religious. There will always be some girls to whom 38 . It seems that marijuana has become so relatively mainstream. That’s likely the only type of girl you’ll attract. depending on how you look at it). and are looking for the crazy partying girl type . If you smoke a blunt once or twice a week. though.do not give girls a reason not to message you back. I've found increasingly that religious beliefs simply don't matter all that much these days. If you are a person who does drugs often. Even putting 'sometimes' can easily warp a girl's imagination into picturing you as a guy who shoots up heroine on a weekly basis. you should go ahead and mark down 'never' on your profile. Therefore.by all means. The number of good.proceed to answer 'never' in the drugs section of their profile. There's no arguing that drug dealers get a lot of pussy. RELIGION Options: ▪ Agnosticism ▪ Atheism ▪ Christianity ▪ Judism ▪ Catholicism ▪ Islam ▪ Hinduism ▪ Buddhism ▪ Other Option 2: ▪ …and very serious about it ▪ …and somewhat serious about it ▪ …and not too serious about it ▪ … and laughing about it Fortunately (or not. that it simply "doesn't count" as a drug. put sometimes or often. I will keep harping on this . it’s important to keep this in mind when trying to decide how to answer this question. a lot of religious standards have gone down in America in recent years. 000 39 . but she won’t know any better (and will imagine the best case for herself). In reality. But the majority of women are poor at money management themselves. INCOME Options: Broken mostly into $10.000 if you have a nice place to yourself. or your lack thereof. a few hundred dollars a month. I'm lucky to scrape the low end of it. I’ve always left this section blank. Most men don't. if you make $100. plus four weeks’ vacation. the last thing on their mind is going to be trying to figure out your precise financial situation. if you put that you make $250. Income is something you should exaggerate a bit to swing the odds in your favor. I have $100.out there. but probably less than $5. On my profile.000.000.000-$150. Just like height though. this is roughly a ten percent increase from what I truly make. Now. To some women. some warning bells are going to go off in her head. then it becomes a larger gap. but you live with roommates and drive a crappy car.000. I also make some money from my blog and book sales.. put $60. SIGN I will admit that I don't know the first thing about astrology signs. in a girl’s mind. and it’s never come up. it may bring up the possibility that I’m at the high end of that bracket. but usually they're kind of. EDUCATION Tell the truth.000 for the year if you add it all up. Realistically. it does matter.this matters deeply.000. and a handful of other benefits.000. This will vary by location as well. I'll use myself as an example..000 incremented brackets until $100.000 selected as my pay range. But. Mark your true sign and that it doesn't matter. but most of them don't really care what religion you practice. If you want a rule of thumb to go by: you can move one income bracket up from what your true income is. I make an annual salary of $85. You can probably get away with $70. So if you make $50. you want it to be reasonable. Personally. If you live in Des Moines. but be discreet about it. the husband would find new pussy on the side. After implementing the lessons learned in this book. you’ll learn that they're open to the idea of you seeing other people. that man able to bang new girls for variety's sake. All it takes is one friend calling you a “non-monogamous pig” and your chances of a date are gone. As you start developing a harem of girls. it used to be pretty widely accepted that as a wife aged. In an absolutely perfect world. Your best bet is to mark that you're looking for a monogamous relationship or just leave it blank. but most women are going to be more selective. Arnold's wife never had an issue with his infidelities until he knocked up the maid. Once you have her out on a date it should all become a moot point. 40 . Your charm should be enough. would be able to find a woman worthy of developing this with. if you clearly state on your profile that you are seeking a non-monogamous or open relationship. Iowa and make the same salary. making her (the wife) look bad. a man who wanted a deeper relationship. They will want their friend’s feedback on the matter. and this section could be a potential blemish on your resume.not double standards. RELATIONSHIP TYPE Options: ▪ Monogamous ▪ Non-monogamous In any decent world. it will make potential girls look bad in the eyes of others. you will be able to set up a date for every single day of the week if you wish. Discretion is everything. Men and women have different standards . Therefore. Don't underestimate how often her friends will have scanned every inch of your profile prior to her meeting you. you’re a baller. It's all about the impression. They just want to know that they are special. You can never rub a mistress in the face of a woman you’re dating.in New York City. while his wife stayed loyal to him. Hell. and that you won’t make them look foolish. and eventually a family. you’re borderline poor. On a dating site designed with the target demographic of singles in mind. and hopefully you’re not stupid enough to actually message them. You got the variety in the form of a new pussy to pound. It seems to me that you would be better off getting these girls on a date. If you truly are in an open relationship. If you keep your cool. I’m obviously going to always tell the truth. If you’re using OKCupid to cheat. If you’re using it to cheat. OFFSPRING Options: ▪ Has a kid ▪ Has kids ▪ Doesn’t have kids Option 2: ▪ Might want kids ▪ Wants kids ▪ Doesn’t want kids Seeing that I don’t have kids.RELATIONSHIP STATUS Options: ▪ Single ▪ Seeing someone ▪ Married ▪ In an open relationship In “Relationship Type” (note: this is “Relationship Status”) I stated that a girl will probably tolerate your non-monogamy as long as you keep it on the down low. I’m not going to have that 41 . I’ll be sure to feature it on my blog. let her go. and then coming clean about your relationship. my recommendation is to always list that you’re single. if you are using OKCupid. The whole point of an open relationship is the variety. banging them. Again.* *But if you do. so be it – you already got the notch. she might even come back. Hopefully. If they choose to walk. Therefore. you’re single to begin with. then by all means good luck to you. hopefully your girlfriend or wife doesn’t have friends on OKCupid. but you’re not actively shopping for a replacement girlfriend. please go down in a pile of flames and send me evidence. you have more options. If a girl has pictures of her cats throughout her profile.it’ll likely be a deal breaker for them as far as any long term relationship goes.held against me. 42 . considering that cats rarely listen to any commands. then looks at your details box and sees that you dislike cats. Long-term compatibility is a different animal. However. in mind when doing this. you must keep your target demographic. If you want to keep all your options for quick lays open. Yes. you should make this decision based off of your individual situation and the type of girls you desire. Therefore. Use your best judgment and lie about your rugrats if needed. If she has numerous photos of her cat(s) or references to them on her profile. I wouldn’t put it past myself to lie about this. you’re probably not on the lookout for a serious relationship. I know its cliché. it’s a potential deal breaker in her eyes. How can one not love dogs though? Cats are animals for old ladies who had too rotten of a personality to get a man to commit to them. If you’re 45 years old. PETS Option 1: ▪ Has dogs ▪ Likes dogs ▪ Dislikes dogs Option 2: ▪ Has cats ▪ Likes cats ▪ Dislikes cats I will start this section off with a warning – any girl that claims to dislike dogs and likes cats probably has something seriously wrong with her. as well as your own age and sexual market value. I think they like the challenge. if you’re in the position to chase much younger girls. If I had a kid though. but you can figure that out later. proceed with extreme caution. they acquire the devilish little felines as a poor substitute. For success. Of course. you shouldn’t list that you dislike anything. If you’re a 33 year old man looking for 20 year olds . scanning for 35 year old women – they’re probably not going to care if you have children. but I could counter by having some actual knowledge of the cities and culture. Be aware that she will probably try to speak the language in person.LANGUAGES Options: Too many to list This is your chance to make yourself look like a well-traveled man. If a girl actually speaks Polish. that’s the only Polish word I speak. When you select that you speak a language. but couldn’t talk myself out of jail if I was stranded in Tijuana. took it in school and then forgot it. I also went to Poland recently and learned how to say “Nostrovia!” which is an oftenmispronounced form of the Russian word used to make toasts. Yes. i. and speak a little Spanish. you have the option to select your fluency in it. Meanwhile. I throw out that I recently spent time in Barcelona. everybody “speaks” Spanish. I can impress any American girl with my one word knowledge of the Polish language. If this comes up. I could order some tacos off of a menu. Spain – and how the “España Spanish” there differs greatly from the “Mexican Spanish” spoken here in Southern California. 43 . The only time you can get screwed is if she actually speaks the language and tries to converse with you in it. If she does it online. Does that stop me from stating that I speak it poorly on my profile? Hell no. While I took two-plus years of it in college. I obviously speak English fluently. and you’ll look like a fool. I’d be in trouble. I’ve spent the last five years of my life in a combination of San Diego and Los Angeles. I know from experience. I don’t remember most of it. use Google Translate to look like a genius. Around here. It can also translate to “good health”. If the language is obscure or rare enough though. The options are: ▪ ▪ ▪ Fluent Okay Poorly In my case.e. which most Americans wouldn’t. you’ll be able to sneak by. ▪ If your ethnicity has “flexibility” you should use it to your advantage to appeal to your desired demographic. ▪ Frame yourself in the best light possible at all times. ▪ Don’t give her a reason not to message you back. ▪ Exaggerate when you can – things such as income. height. ▪ Keep your lies within reason – the jig is up if you say you’re 6’2” but are only 5’6” in person. and languages. 44 .SUMMARY ▪ The detail box is very important. because it provides girls a quick FAQ into your life. I am most concerned with her views on sex and relationships. and if they’re not. You should answer a minimum of fifty questions but I would not recommend filling out more than about two hundred. Personally. I’m going to discuss how to use the way she answers her questions to screen her for sex. so to screen her. politics. you’ll need to have some questions filled out. I only care about those if they’re the same as mine. some girls do have specific rules that they won’t respond or go out with a guy who isn’t at least a certain percentage match with them. the number that you answer won’t make or break you. and overall compatibility. their rule is about a 70% match requirement. As a man. You will not be able to see her answers unless you have answered the questions yourself. A lot of times I get asked: how many of these questions should I fill out? The correct answer is that you should fill out just enough to make it seem like you care. I’ve seen girls with over three thousand questions answered on their profile. and it’s likely that you your total questions answered will add up over time. which are you more interested in hearing her answer to? 45 . Therefore. along with her overall attitude. personality. I’d recommend steering away from those questions. From experience. ethics. Again. I highly recommend answering specific questions that you care about . and general lifestyle information. While these questions won’t make or break you in the majority of cases. These questions range from sexual fantasies. even her hobbies. I’m just hoping they occupy her enough to not get on my nerves by being needy. For those of you brand-new to OKCupid. but not so many that it looks like you have no life beyond filling out OKCupid questionnaires. I’ve yet to discover exactly how many questions you can answer. I rarely bother answering any of the “ethics” or “political” category questions because I don’t want to give her a reason to disqualify me. I don’t care about a girl’s political beliefs.because later on in the book.THE QUESTIONS OKCupid has a questions and matching system that rates your compatibility with girls via their algorithm. ) Say you’ve started seeing someone you really like. it does not block you or stop you from messaging each other. there’s no sense in answering Question A and potentially giving her a reason to disqualify you (despite her probable lack of knowledge regarding Communism).) Say you’ve started seeing someone you really like. for better or worse. I’ve bolded the answers I would “accept”. Do you believe most women have a good understanding of communism and capitalism anyway? Even if they do. you then have to select the answers that you’ll “accept” in a match and place an importance on it. talking about that on a date would a raging boner go limp. Rather. Question B tells us a lot about a girl and her sex drive.) Communism. As far as you’re concerned. Therefore. Note that even if a girl selects an answer you won’t accept. how long will it take before you have sex?     1-2 dates 3-5 dates 6 or more dates Only after the wedding 46 . The algorithm used by OKCupid isn’t as simple as answering these questions and moving on to the next. Using Question B from above. B. it simply has a more drastic effect on your match percentage. in concept:     Good Bad Same as capitalism No idea / this questions doesn’t interest me B. how long will it take before you have sex?     1-2 dates 3-5 dates 6 or more dates Only after the wedding I don’t care about her opinion on Question A.A. Once you’ve answered a question. On the other hand. As far as you’re concerned. Once I do that. The three choices are:    A little Somewhat Very This is something that’s very important to me. and giving you plenty of information about themselves. if I come across a girl who has stated she will only have sex after the wedding and she also marked it as ‘very’ important. After observing my girl pals interact with men on OKCupid. 47 . so I’ve got nothing to lose by being honest here. just like the quizzes in Cosmopolitan magazine. Most of them are too self-centered to be bothered reading the questions of their potential dates. The OKCupid algorithm provides a better matching experience than anything else out there on the market. preferring to just answer hundreds or thousands about themselves. so I’d mark it as ‘very’. With today’s modern dating. Secondly. so I’ve marked the first two options as answers that I would accept.I’m not a total player. I don’t mind going out with a girl a few times before we hop into bed. Therefore. However. They’re too busy answering the dozens of messages they get from guys. I want nothing to do with that bullshit when sex is so readily available. It’s an extremely powerful tool that can be used to artificially increase matches with the girls you are interested in. it will skew our match percentage much farther down. it’s just another step of creating a profile – but it’s much more than that. they love answering the questions themselves. These questions are “chick crack”. they don’t usually dig too deep into the questions on your profile. To most people. I’m prompted to place an important on this question. there is no way I’m shelling out money for “6 or more” dates without getting a return on my investment. ▪ Answer the questions you care about – Communism or sex? ▪ Placing a higher or lower importance on a question will have a higher impact on your match percentage. it’s usually about 70%. as they’re too busy answering their own questions or responding to messages. 48 . ▪ Many girls will have a “minimum match percentage” to go out with you. ▪ Fill out just enough questions – somewhere between fifty and two hundred. ▪ Girls don’t read your answers often.SUMMARY ▪ OKCupid’s algorithm matches you with girls based off of your answers to a variety of questions. Why would you do this? Because they are more likely to agree with your views on such as sex and dating. I highly recommend using some of OKCupid’s filtering options when deciding which girls to message. you must establish a systematic way of doing things. the more likely it is you can get her onto a date and into bed quickly. you can track your progress. this is a subjective rule to them that they will break on a moment’s whim. and even more if you are an A-List member. A lower percentage of girls will flake on their dates with you. Over time. or meet up with you in person. Having attractive photographs and a well-written profile will win over most girls. On top of that. which are the things that you really care about. Best of all. When you are browsing. and consciously improve things bit by bit. the higher match percentage you are. just like their rule of no kissing/blowing/sex on the first date. Of course. and deemed appropriate. your numbers will improve. This means you’ll have to message fewer girls to get more phone numbers. In order to improve all of these variables. This way. some girls have a minimum match percentage that you have to meet for them to answer you. you need to go on fewer dates to get laid.THE SEARCH Regardless of what anyone tells you. Option #1: How do you swing? This is where there are only two options for you to select:     Interested in men Interested in women Interested in everyone More orientations… 49 . Generally. dating (especially online) is nothing but a numbers game. you will have six options to specify. you can filter by the girls who are the best match for you. When you click “Browse Matches” to search for girls. Based off the questions you’ve answered. I’m living in Los Angeles now. 50 . the final for those who are bisexual. you’re probably okay setting a 15 mile radius. a 50 mile radius in New York will get you pretty far out there. I have a maximum distance of ten miles set in my profile. However. San Diego is a very spread out city. when you have millions of women in a small square mile radius. I’m 23 years old. Most of you reading this book probably don’t. you don’t want to discriminate against the good. If you have a problem with a woman who likes other women. the second for girls who like girls. Obviously though. and I usually used a radius of 25 miles. and I go into this in more detail later in the book. However.The first option is for straight women. Nor is it worth your time to travel to them. I don’t know why you bought this book in the first place. or “bi-curious” (keep in mind it’s a cool thing to be bi-curious in today’s world). Any girls that live in the outer boroughs will likely be willing to make the trip to you if you have a sweet bachelor pad in Manhattan. Occasionally I expand the search area to some further neighborhoods. and I often get along quite well with girls a few years older than me. I personally have no problem with it. virginal. but I adjust my expectations accordingly.e. you want to search for women who like men. I have found that anything older than this won’t usually return my messages based off of their pre-conceived notions about men my age. with girls who are going to be much. I lived in San Diego for the past five years. no more than about half an hour). Christian women who do not support gay marriage. Option #3: Distance Distance is a search filter that is subjective to your individual living circumstances. and it was fairly easy to cover 25 miles during off-traffic hours (i. Simply put. so I run searches for ages 18 to 26. Therefore. that’s your choice. The ‘More orientations…’ option gets into all sorts of gender identity classifications that are beyond the scope of the book. either. If you live in Manhattan. and perhaps women that like other women. In this city. If you want to search for men…well. it could potentially take you two hours to go fifteen miles via car. I’ve experimented with running multiple profiles with two separate ages (I can pass for being about five years older than I actually am). Option #2: Age This depends on how old you are and what age you’re looking for. much more difficult to convince to come meet you. gas expenses. I think a good rule of thumb is if you live in a small town. but the distance you specify has an even bigger impact. After all. Thinking it was just a random process. I discovered that these 51 . but 45 minutes is the maximum time I would personally be willing to spend on the road. be willing to drive 45 minutes. You must set ground rules as to how far you are willing to drive to meet a girl for a single drink. This is up to you. and other personal hobbies is up to you. you may have no choice but to expand your search radius to 50 or even 100 miles (the maximum is 500). Dozens of girls that were closer to me and were just as high a match as girls 20 miles out were showing up for the first time in my search results. which returns hundreds of results in a large city. when I was experimenting with getting the best matches by distance. Unless you live in the middle of nowhere. the same held true. While I’ve never had to deal with this myself. you can make an exception. Once I cut down from 10 miles to 5 miles. If she lives two hours away and is willing to drive an hour. I came across a dirty little trick. 100 miles is a lot of time and money invested to have a single beer if she turns out to be a dud. Let’s say you are using a search distance of 25 miles. If you have the unfortunate circumstance of living in a small town where there simply aren’t a lot of women. One day.Most girls are getting so many messages that the idea of driving an hour to meet you is not appealing. Every situation is different. but that does not mean it’s bulletproof. wasting large amounts of time on dates that go nowhere is a fast way to discouragement and disappointment. How you choose to filter your match results will impact which girls are matched to you. your time is valuable. Remember. I discovered that once I cut my distance down to 10 miles. ** The following is very important to note about searching by distance. However. I would make note of a profile name and then run the search at a 25 mile search radius again. To my dismay. a first date is only a feeler. there were dozens of girls who didn’t appear in my initial search for girls within a 25 mile radius. How you manage your driving time. ** OKCupid has some brilliant algorithms and programming behind it. including yours truly. If your phone is on the table during a meeting. nearly everyone these days is connected to their email on a 24/7 basis. if you message her while she is offline – you’re going to get buried beneath all of the other guys messaging her. During those timeframes. then you were out of luck. Therefore. Of course. Those are expected. especially when other people are around. This is a pain in the ass. If you get a response. or OKCupid. all email business was conducted. However. or call them on the phone. To verify this. You should only message girls if they are “Online now!” There is no circumstance where you should message a girl for the first time if she’s not currently online. if you message a girl who hasn’t been online for several hours. The reason they do this is because they don’t want online dating messages flooding their phones constantly. Many people only have specific blocks of time in which they check their profile and respond to messages.com itself via a computer. and you didn’t send your email to them until 8:00pm. You’d have to wait until the cycle started again the next morning. OKCupid is not nearly as main-stream as email. to read your message. it’s one thing to have work emails or text messages coming in. In fact. If you choose to only search by one larger distance you will actually be limiting the girls closer to you that turn up in your search results. people usually checked their email only at specific times throughout the day. 52 . and then once that evening. much like a text message or email. Your average person would typically check their email in the morning before work or school. meaning all email was read and responded to. You should consistently rotate your search distance to return more matches. But it doesn’t look good if you have OKCupid notifications blowing your phone up while trying to get some work done. don’t expect her to get a notification and immediately log on to the app. Prior to the age of smartphones. again on a lunch break. Option #4: Online Time The fourth option is the most critical piece of the puzzle in getting responses online. Before you insist that OKCupid pushes notifications directly to their phone. If the person checked their email at 7:00pm on the dot.girls didn’t show up. you must realize that many people disable those notifications. I would scroll all the way down until OKCupid did not give me any more matches. but a good trick to know. then run searches with my browser’s find function – nothing. I’ve found if you reply within five minutes. though it can seem like it. Weeknight evenings are also good. As far as weekdays go. You should always avoid sending a first message in the morning or anytime on a Friday or Saturday night. until they absolutely cannot stay in bed any longer. It’s important to note that OKCupid will still continue showing them online for an hour (or more sometimes) even after they’ve closed the app or their browser. Most people run errands and are out and about throughout the day. but the messages will tail off the further it gets into the night. though not as profitable as a Sunday evening. and just close the browser window. getting lost in the inbox isn’t going to be intuitive because your inbox doesn’t fill at the speed of an attractive girl. Sometimes you will message a girl in the evenings and she’ll respond the following day.it’s luck. Most of them are at work or at school – the ones at home are the ones already taken by a husband who makes enough money (and hopefully aren’t on OKCupid). This isn’t direct texting. it won’t make or break you. Anytime from 6:00pm to 10:00pm will result in success. hands down. As a man. I’ve personally witnessed female friends sign on to OKCupid. The majority of them hit snooze multiple times. On their way out of the 53 . I’ve never dated a girl who was a morning person. This is “social” time for girls to play on their smartphones. Of course. The next step is to further increase your chances of catching her online by messaging her during peak hours when she is most likely to be online and able to respond to you. see three dozen messages. you should turn your notifications ON and respond to her. Who the hell wants to read 36 messages after you’ve already been working all day? You take a good bit chance out of the equation if you simply follow the rule of only messaging girls who are online. Some advocate waiting twice as long as she took to respond. but there is rarely anything to do Sunday evening. You can continue on later in the night. The time between 5:00 and 10:00pm is a solid bet. Remember what I said about people disabling notifications – it’s unlikely that she’ll be checking and responding to messages throughout the day. and then rush through their beautification process to start their day. but you’re more likely to simply get lost in her inbox if you play that game. it’s pointless to message girls during the day. if you truly want to maximize your potential. What time are peak hours? The best day to message girls is on Sunday. as indicated by the lack of a green dot in your chat box. What often happens next is that she will message you while you’re offline (girls don’t worry about any of these technicalities. You then see that she has gone offline. don’t be dissuaded. You don’t need to wait for her to come online before replying to her latest message. so you are less likely to fall through the cracks. When this happens. They’re not going to respond to a morning message. Online dating is already so far removed from real world interaction. Be aware that you are playing a dangerous game of tag when exchanging offline messages. I don’t think much of an explanation is necessary: you should be doing things other than OKCupid. she will message you back when she comes back online. you will be in the middle of messaging a girl and she doesn’t respond. obviously). You’ll notice that that closing message has some key points: 54 . it’s tedious. Shoot me your phone number and we can talk more. She’ll most likely be looking forward to your message. the green dot will be absent. Once you start playing tag. I hate playing tag on here like this. If you have built up enough rapport.door. Plus. swapping messages as close to real-time as possible helps to move the interaction forward into the real world. all illusions we have will be gone once we meet in person. When she is not online. it’s important that you move to get her phone number and take things off of OKCupid. and girls know this too. they grab a Pop-Tart to munch on in the car. In some cases. you can use a closer like this: You seem cool. to the left of her photo. To do so. As far as Friday and Saturday nights go. You are basically dismissing OKCupid itself. it’s tedious. and this is a very direct and confident way to do so. Or… You seem cool.▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ “You seem cool” . it’s tedious “. “Shoot me your phone number and we can talk more.” – ABC.” – Again. Plus. How about a drink to see if we have chemistry? (Question mark is optional) Obviously this message is nearly identical to the one above. Of course. but the last sentence is much stronger. Option #5 – Advanced The last criteria option you can set when searching for girls is under the “Advanced” tab – which opens up a brand new world of possibilities as shown in the screenshot below. women follow – they do not lead. If you are correct in your assessment. she will agree to the date and send you her phone number in her response. what sane person wouldn’t? Remember. “Plus. calling it tedious. I hate playing tag on here like this. If you feel your game has been effective enough. she isn’t going to disagree with you on this. you can go for the kill. all illusions we have will be gone once we meet in person. she will agree with you on this. It is your job as the man to move the interaction forward.You recognize the rapport or chemistry you two have “I hate playing tag on here like this. and it will plant the seed for a meeting. 55 . all illusions we have will be gone once we meet in person. Always Be Closing. Of course. If you run a search for “Are not single”. For example. is only available if you subscribe to the AList on OKCupid.If you didn’t already pick up on it. you can search for women who are taken. Be aware that a husband or boyfriend may come after you for this. Probably the most valuable filter you can use though is to screen a girl by what she is looking for. these are all of the things that we discussed in the critical ‘The Lies’ chapter. These will often be girls who are open to a quick fuck – and are more inclined to at least get offline and in person with you quicker. You can use these filters to search for whatever you’d like – shorter girls. 56 . or girls who don’t have kids. The sooner you get her off the Internet. It is not a bad idea to filter for girls who have openly checked that they are looking for casual sex. body type. the better your chances of having sex. the most valuable filter. if it’s your thing. girls who make a lot of money. you will probably be surprised how many women on OKCupid are in open relationships. This allows you to search for women who have met specific qualities in the detail box. It can open up many possibilities. I recommend sorting by the match percentage. ORDER BY Now that you have applied the filters you want. This will put the girls that you are most compatible with at the top. you could at least eliminate all of the ones that fall under the fat category to save you time while running searches. and the least compatible ones at the bottom. there is one more thing you need to set – the order by which the ladies are returned to you in.95 a month – by all means. Before you do that though. knock yourself out. Your options for this are as follows. This makes 57 . If you think this is worth $9. from top to bottom. you’re ready to find the next slut to take to pound town.While many girls blatantly lie about this. when you are searching for girls. on average. This will make it so that they no longer will show up in your search results. if you run a search for new matches on the app. they will be at the very bottom. and a lower match with girls who are fat. Most of you reading this probably have smartphones. There can be some real gems here. You will have hot girls who are only 40% match with you. I am an active and athletic person who keeps in shape. There’s no point in getting a search returned for dozens of girls that you have already messaged. One last note on matches: some girls do not answer any questions. and send them up to the top. it seems most will at least answer questions about their lifestyle somewhat honestly. it doesn’t tell you which girls you have already messaged. which causes them to have a zero percent match percentage with you. So when you answer questions. you will naturally have a higher match percentage with girls that live a healthy lifestyle. so make sure you scroll to the bottom of the list. you would do best to “hide” the girls that you have already messaged. I have more fun on dates with girls who are higher matches. Though girls don’t hesitate to lie about their body type and manipulate camera angles to their advantage. 58 . Hiding these girls speeds up the process. assuming you are placing a high emphasis on the fitness and lifestyle questions.logical sense – OKCupid’s questions do a pretty good job of matching you up. The best part about sorting by match percentage though is it allows you to weed out the Secret Internet Fatties that I mention in later this book. too. but you can still message with them (“blocking” puts a stop to all messaging). and hopefully you are. The hot ones go to the top and the fat ones fall to the bottom. If so. so it’s important to still venture down to the depths and weed out the fatties on occasion. you should be using the OKCupid app – checking it periodically throughout the day and responding to messages. no pun intended. As a result. There is one other reason to hide them. The obvious reason for this is to reduce the clutter in your search results. HIDING Finally. This is not a perfect formula. However. or filter by enemy. and green means she almost always does. spamming your inbox with their responses of rage. red bars are girls that are hot. For the record. red means that she rarely responds to messages. you will end up messaging the same girls repeatedly.com website. probably a 5 at best. Often responds. or green bar as below. probably at least cute. so unless you have an extremely accurate photographic memory. the app does not show this. green bars are girls that are ugly. the bar shown at the bottom will be grey. Rarely responds. Again. yellow. Here is what the different bars look like. on the actual OKCupid. yellow means she sometimes does. Typically. A girl you have not messaged will show a red. likely hideous. 59 . Sometimes responds. if you have already messaged a girl and she shows up in your search results.For example. learn to manipulate the functions of OKCupid to yield a high return on your investment. 60 . Rather than wasting time looking at girls who are of little interest to you.Using the various options that OKCupid provides to search and screen for girls can save a man hours of precious time.  Change your distance filter often – it will result in more matches that previously didn’t show in your results. body type. is for paying members only. Never message a girl on a Friday or Saturday night.  Hide the girls you’ve already messaged to increase efficiency.  The best filter search.  Some girls have a minimum match percentage needed to meet up with you.  Sunday evenings are the best time to message.  Only search for girls who are “Online now”. 61 .  Set ground rules for how far you’re willing to drive to meet a girl.SUMMARY  Online dating is a numbers game – and using OKCupid’s filters will skew the numbers in your favor. and weekday evenings are good to. but they’ll break that rule if you’re attractive enough. without proper game. most of them are not high quality. Rather than screening for a girl in the hopes of finding a relationship. you might as well get your dick wet in the process. and bemoaning the fact that you don’t have a girlfriend. Therefore. doesn’t it make more sense to treat them like disposable toys? Push for sex. online dating has transitioned from being a medium where desperate singles congregate. and sort them by the ‘sex’ category itself. the worse you will do.if she’s truly a quality girl. she’ll find a way to hold off on the sex but still keep you genuinely interested in getting to know her. you’ll encounter a profile where she didn’t answer any sexual questions. Meanwhile. you can use the answers to her questions. The easiest way to do this is to examine the questions she’s answered. Instead she has passed on many of them in an attempt to seem innocent. You’ll have to judge for yourself by messages and texts how down she is. That kind of quality girl is not the norm. In modern times. In fact. to screen if she’s down for sex or not.THE SCREENING We live in a funny world at the moment. If you’re actively seeking a relationship. as well as other details throughout her profile. the more you try. There are more than enough other girls in the OKCupid waters to satisfy you. I recommend just moving on. Often. but it’s more likely to take dozens of dates before you actually meet a woman who is worth committing to. It’s very possible that you might find one eventually. while not pushing for sex. don’t spend money on her. you’ll likely reek of desperation. and dropping dough on expensive dinner dates. real life seductions in bars and on the streets are much more likely to be seen as “creepy”. but rather. you’re certainly not guaranteed to lay quality girls when you starting meeting up with cuties from OKCupid. For this reason. that most of them will be too shallow and dumb to lock down a good man while they still have their youthful looks. I firmly believe you should not be using online dating to find a serious relationship. To facilitate this. This doesn’t mean they’re ugly. 62 . Even with low quality girls. when it comes to seduction. Of course. to a socially acceptable way to meet members of the opposite sex. If you get the vibe she is a prude. and guess what . would never sleep with a guy on the first date. As far as you’re concerned. and says it will take 1-2 dates to have sex . how long will it take before you have sex?     1-2 dates 3-5 dates 6 or more dates Only after the wedding The second important question I look for is: Would you consider sleeping with someone on the first date?  Yes  No From my experience. these give great insights into how quickly she will hop into bed with you. On the other hand. The ‘3-5 date’ girl is a slut who wants to appear classy. the girl who answers ‘3-5 dates’ and ‘no’ will absolutely hop into bed with you on the first night .she probably actually won’t go on a date with you. these girls also come across as more normal. much less have sex with you.if you play your cards right. if she’s answered sexual questions. It’s an ego boost.However. To me. I’ve found that if she says she’ll consider sleeping with someone on the first date. In the grand scheme of things. much like a Disney romance. It’s all just a system . these two questions alone will give you a great glimpse into her sexuality.so that when she does sleep with you on the first date she can tell her friends that sex “just happened”. and must be taken out at least a couple of times before being penetrated by your meat stick. This is probably due to more men messaging her due to her supposed promiscuity. Granted. I did get one or two very easy notches from girls that listed the above answers to the questions. The first question I look for is one I’ve mentioned in a previous chapter: Say you’ve started seeing someone you really like. because what girl in her right mind really says that she’ll sleep 63 . I’ve found they are usually just a pain in the ass and not worth the effort. The second reason I suspect is that most women who put this are simply on OKCupid for the attention that is reaped upon them. Most women in their “right” mind will rationalize that they are not sluts. With solid game. and while I couldn’t tell you how many I’ve slept with. they respond with boring answers. You wouldn’t buy a $300. If you play the questions game and get sexual. Your tastes are your own. I can tell you the majority of the time I simply don’t click with them. or even marry them down the road. Age plays an important factor. There’s a huge difference between the washed up 35 year old saying she wants to wait six or more dates so you can wine and dine her (read: spend money). I can tune those factors out if it means getting her into bed. you can easily seduce them into bed on the first date because they are open to the idea of quick sex . too. if she’s a genuine virgin. and the 18 year old who wants to wait because she is genuinely nervous around you and has only slept with one guy in her life. lifestyle.but you have to make it “just happen” according to Disney protocol. and I’ve always just found the chemistry to be lacking. She could be a diamond in the rough. but also understand that they need to hold the sex card back a little bit in order to earn your respect. would you? These girls understand that they need to put out in a reasonable timeframe in order to keep you around. it’s easy enough to manipulate her into giving up her old beliefs in favor of your leadership. Not many people wait six days. Often. The girl who says it will take six or more dates to have sex is a toss-up. It’s also a good idea to be cautious of any OKCupid girl who claims to be a virgin.e. and other factors. You may care about her political beliefs. the questions 64 . and likely different than mine. Once she’s yours. these girls have a lack of knowledge about modern day sexual practices and are no fun to flirt with. While I weigh those characteristics in.with someone on the first date? The ‘3-5 date’ girls usually have more reasonable expectations. They understand that this is the 21st century. but this is so rare it’s barely worth mentioning. Utilize the sorting feature and figure out what questions are important to you. they’re something I’d rather find out about in person. Biologically. you may want to make an exception to this and go on a few dates with her. much less six dates.000 Ferrari without taking it for a test drive. to hop into bed together. and any worthy man would never wait until marriage to have sex with them. they know this will increase the likelihood that you’ll commit to them. Now. I strongly recommend picking five to seven of the “starter” questions (i. I’ve been out with many of them. This is also known as their slut defense. and deeper into using technology for dating. Rejecting a girl is one of the best things a man can do for himself. you’re a high value man who doesn’t have the time to read every word of every profile. then I’ll start parsing through the text of her profile. You must realize that as our culture goes further and further downhill. not the pursued. you are better off just turning away from the ones who don’t pass your initial screening. OTHER FACTORS IN HER PROFILE While the questions are a good way to get standard information about any girl. Many girls will state they’re just looking for people to “hang out” with. the amount of confidence gained from turning down a girl is exponential. you will become so proficient at getting dates and sex that you will simply cease to care about flaking on a few of them. but you shouldn’t let this stop you. mine are based around sex) . Even if you read something like this. 65 .asked first by the OKCupid algorithm. but don’t hesitate to turn down a date. Even more so if she’s cute. there is more that can be gleaned from taking the time to read her profile. It’s their first attempt to ward off guys who are players. Generally I don’t read the profile until I’ve sent one of my standard openers and exchanged a few messages with her. The problem is.then why bother meeting up with her? Going on a date will waste both of your time. some girls believe they must throw this disclaimer out there. which most girls will have answered. plow forwards with the interaction. Therefore. That’s when you know you’ve made it. This defense is even more likely the younger she is. though they usually end up caving into them anyways. It’s hard. If I think she’s an interesting person. Because men are typically the pursuers. Eventually. You’ll figure these out pretty quickly) and using these as a basis for meeting. If a girl has answers you aren’t happy with for four of the five questions you’ve deemed important (again. They are simply window shopping to see if your city has better prospects than their current location. or more. they don’t grasp the concept of putting your best foot forward and leaving your baggage at the door. Granted. On top of that. and the end. Girls who state over and over again that they just want to be friends It amazes me how many girls go on a dating website and then clearly state that they only want friends. not having pen pals. there are too many girls on OKCupid to exhaust your energy with girls that come with a plane full of baggage. Again. It’s no joke. they will be sure to mention it in the first message they respond with. Again. You are wasting time and resources that could be going to the thousands of other girls on OKCupid instead of the one girl who will have dozens of suitors willing to take her out if she comes to town. You’ll be shocked at what some girls will write on their OKCupid profile. it will make your life a living hell. or visiting. They’ll mention it in the first paragraph of their profile. Right. You’ll have girls talking about how they have daddy issues. 66 . or give you their whole sob story about how they got knocked up at 16 and their “baby daddy” left them. I promise you. are prescribed multiple medications to cope with their depression.these girls are a complete waste of time. long-term game that can easily overcome this. in the hopes that she’ll turn into Mrs.WARNING: GIRLS YOU SHOULDN’T BOTHER WITH Girls who don’t live in the city Many girls will switch their city to one that they’re considering moving to. They also make it quite clear in their questions that they won’t have sex until at least after the sixth date. there are methods of long-distance. the middle. it becomes an issue of opportunity cost. Girls that actually mention their mental disorders I spent several years dating a girl who likely had bi-polar disorder. but I’m assuming you bought this book because you were interested in dating and having sex with girls. While I appreciate their honesty. They’ll say that they just “want to see what the guys in my new city are like!” Unless she is in that city right then and willing to meet . Girls are shallow too. You 67 . it means that she probably actually wants to be kissed. but remember that I warned you. Eventually.000 a year. you start touching her in a casual manner – light touches on the arm. you make the first move.but so what? It’s the same as turning your profile down based on your salary of $30. a secret internet fatty posts photographs of themselves on social networking sites that are purposely shot so as to disguise their obesity. by all means. Urban Dictionary defines Secret Internet Fatties as the following: Usually known by the acronym SIF. Treat it like any other normal date. or not. Instead. here’s what you do. for example. You should never meet up with a girl from OKCupid without getting a full body picture of her. If she recoils and acts shy. If you want to pursue it. You just have to have enough game to pull it off. If you want to waste your time on the ones determined to friend zone you before meeting.While sometimes it can be worth it to pursue these girls because they’re only playing hard to get. you can try one more time . I speak from experience on this one. Some of them will protest and say that you’re being a shallow bastard . they’re actively trying to deceive you. now is probably the best time to teach you about these awful wildebeests that prowl the lands of OKCupid. overall they’re simply not worth your time. You don’t ask her to a movie. fuck) who won’t give you this bullshit. If she recoils and says she really does just want friends. and makeup advantage they can manage in order to fool you into thinking that they aren’t disgusting bovines. just in a different way. While many of them have faces that are relatively cute with their photo hacks. The Fatties While we’re on the topic of screening her profile. It’s your decision to go out with these girls. This means you do not ask her to dinner.or simply walk out. angle. These are girls that manipulate every lighting. It doesn’t mean you grab her ass within a minute of seeing her in person. Once you get her out. you tell her (based off of her schedule) when and where you’re getting a drink. There are plenty of girls who are actively looking to date (and therefore. usually Curvy -> Fat Full-Figured -> Land whale Watch for a lack of body photos on OKCupid. As far as I’m concerned. This is even worse if she’s the cutest one of the group. This is not too much to ask. because you’re distracted by those enormous cans. every girl is going to lie about her body type.are absolutely entitled to a full body picture of her so that you can make sure you are meeting up with someone who you are actually attracted to. Because if she has a good body. Use her questions to your advantage. The questions under lifestyle can give some insight into a girl’s exercise and eating habits. Here are some examples. usually when a girl has big tits .it’s because she’s big everywhere else. Go browse OKCupid and take a look at all of the hottest girl’s profiles. you can bet she will show it off.and are dying to show it off in any way shape or form. A 6 in a sea of girls who are 3’s and 4’s is going to look pretty hot at first glance. If she lacks exercise photos. While there are exceptions to the rule. and it’s easy to fool yourself into thinking that’s a full body shot. She’s using her friend’s terrible looks to make herself more desirable. Most of them will have some sort of photograph of them doing physical activity whether that be a Tough Mudder. Most girls who are fit think of it as a hobby and lifestyle . or yoga class. Block her number and delete if she refuses. Be warned that many times they will put their boobs in some of their pictures. She has lots of pictures with ugly and/or fat friends. ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ Thin/Skinny -> Usually truthful Athletic -> Average Average -> Fat. Zumba. or at least in danger of putting some weight on very easily. save for the occasional girl who puts average and actually is (at least by American standards) Here’s a rough translation of what the body types on OKCupid mean. this is your warning that she may be fat. 68 . You will notice a trend. ‘Skinny’ or ‘Athletic’ body types are the only acceptable answers in her details box. So how do the fatties fool you? First and foremost. a girl who admits to clubbing all the time is probably also a party slut. most people would say 4 days a week constitutes a lot). 69 . Do you work out a lot?  Yes  No Can you run a mile without stopping?  Yes  No  Yes. The first question is pretty subjective (I’d consider “a lot” to be two-a-days.How often do you go “clubbing” (out dancing in bars)?  Lots  Sometimes  Rarely  Never If she is going out clubbing “lots”. Any girl worth meeting will grant this request. so just get that full body picture. and if not.just ask for a picture. But your best bet . and more These are obviously pretty self-explanatory. along with her pictures. and probably tops it off with some greasy Mexican food at the end of it all. then it means she’s likely pouring sugary. calorie rich drinks down her throat all night. There are plenty of other questions that can help you determine. Of course. but your average healthy person can run at least a mile. you saved yourself an evening with a girl who didn’t deserve your time anyway. if she is a Secret Internet Fatty. do not give her what she desires (attention). or who actively tell you that they have mental disorders. 70 . you are better off passing on a date with her.  Don’t waste your time on women who just say they want to be friends repeatedly.SUMMARY  OKCupid questions are a key part of screening a girl both on her personality and how willing she is to have sex.  In today’s dating world. Think of it as a business transaction. who are just visiting the city. realize that there are exceptions for every rule and judge accordingly. They are waving the red flag for you!  Do whatever is necessary to screen yourself out of fat girls. sex is common. There is a major difference between women of different ages.  To the previous point. They are deceptive creatures.  If a girl throws too many red flags. If she is unwilling to give you what you desire (sex). you understand the most effective ways to search for girls. and sex fall straight into their lap without any real effort. Wanna fuck sexy mama? I think you’re pretty. You also understand why they won’t respond to your messages. The best thing you can do to truly understand how mundane most guys on OKCupid are is to create a girl’s profile to do a little undercover work. Within a few minutes. those messages are something along the lines of: ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ Hey Hey. don’t bother writing anything in the profile. with the only payoff being awkward dates they can’t get out of soon enough. You know…if that’s okay with you. dates. 71 . You wouldn’t believe how many search engines hits I get on This Is Trouble from people looking for exactly that – a magic bullet to have responses. Usually.THE OPENING It’s easy to think that the opening message is the only thing that gets you a response on OKCupid. These messages are all unoriginal. Find an attractive picture of a girl on Google Images. and how to avoid the Secret Internet Fatties. Once you have fifty of those messages sitting in your inbox. and let the action begin. answer a few questions. Now that you have a new and intriguing profile and pictures. you begin to realize why girls sometimes don’t last very long on online dating sites. you will have a flood of messages coming into your inbox. I would love to take you out sometime. Answering their entire inbox would be a full time job. The message certainly is a critical part of the process. but it’s only one piece of the puzzle. how r u? Hey what’s up How are you? How was your weekend? Hey you’re really hot. we can discuss opening messages. simply because there is no possible way they can. my response rate is about 65% over that period of time. You should give off the impression that you’re doing online dating because you are bored and looking to be entertained. To run an experiment. your opening messages should portray the following qualities: ▪ That you’re not taking the whole online dating thing very seriously. You obviously can’t track how many girls you get on dates since you’re not in that city. So. On average.devoid of any emotional spikes (remember. Over time. One note though. some of these openers were more successful than others. New York is probably the only large city in the United States where the numbers are in favor of men. instead of her being on hers for him. and how much she generally digs you. ▪ Be creative and/or unique. what the hell do you say? I’m going to give you a couple of openers that I have used with great success over the last couple of years. ▪ That you have outcome independence. I was absolutely astounded at the results. This doesn’t mean that you can’t use the same generic openers on all girls. or lack thereof. and come from a position of the man being on his knees in front of her. then your messages should follow suit. but you’ll get some rough numbers you can use to your advantage. ▪ That you can have fun. I do not recommend switching to New York City. None of this is how one properly seduces a girl. When I ran an OKCupid experiment using New York City as my zip code. your mood and well-being are not affected by her response. Your success depends on how you have written your profile. Even if they’re not necessarily cocky. it’s as simple as switching your city to one in a different state and tracking how successful the new opener is – simply by how many responses you get back. your pictures. I would recommend that you set your location to a 72 . Look at the messages I listed above for examples of what not to use. The opening messages should be congruent with the rest of your profile. What works for one man may not work for another. If you’ve taken a cocky angle. I really encourage you to experiment with new openers and see what works for you. girls like a roller coaster of emotions). ▪ Demonstrate your own value in a subtle way. Of course. if she mentions in her profile that she drives a red Ford Mustang. you could make the opener this: Hey.) Can you drive stick? 3. that opening sentence puts you in the position of being chased. rather than the chaser – flipping the script on her.) If you were to rob a bank. Add one unique thing about her profile at the end of this that gives her the impression that you didn’t just copy and paste this. there is one thing you can do to take this opener to the next level. and it’s creative.) Would you do a stealth robbery or would you go in guns a blazin'? P.) Can you drive stick? 3. especially once she reads the rest of the message. Hey. At the same time. step by step.S.: Can we use your Mustang for the heist? 73 . It shows that you can have fun. you make it clear that you’re not taking the online dating thing seriously.) Would you do a stealth robbery or would you go in guns a blazin'? Let’s break this opener down. I wouldn’t dare sell you a book about online dating without giving you a couple of openers. For example.city that you know is notoriously tough on guys – I can personally tell you that Los Angeles and San Diego both fall into that category. I’m looking for an accomplice. Do you qualify? 1. don’t give a shit what she says or thinks about you. I’m looking for an accomplice. In the first line. Do you qualify? 1. The rest of this message is good-natured fun. what would you wear? 2. However. Women love this.) If you were to rob a bank. what would you wear? 2. Not on my fake female account for testing purposes – a girl actually wrote that to me. it’s just a way to get some laughs. the pretense of this message is that you have girls messaging you. There are some real crackpots out there on the Internet. Who the hell has time to sit around crafting personalized messages for special snowflakes all day? Not a man who has four dates set up a week. I fully advocate using copy and paste messages in regards to online dating. To you. That’s a start – it shows you’re a high value man. Your eagerness will show through and make you like a chode if you take the time to craft a personal message to Ms. too. so maybe she should be. The important thing is that another girl was interested. For starters. “lathering” someone up in green paint and “spanking them like an avocado” is hilarious. Princess. I did manage to see the opportunity in this.A real life example is below. While that made me sad. To do anything else is a waste of time. I actually did get this message once." Do you have anything that tops that? For the record. A few weeks later I realized she had copy and pasted it from a guy who sent it to her. This clearly shows that you don’t give two shits about your OKCupid account. Some other ideas: Best message I ever got: "I want to lather you up in green paint and spank you like a dirty avocado. She doesn’t need to know that the chick who made that comment might be ugly as sin. though I got lazy and didn’t add anything personal. Not to mention. it’s bound to make her laugh – and so 74 . On top of that. But overall. into a Microsoft Word document for easy use. My money is on cray cray . Let’s get the obvious out of the way . 75 . I deal drugs on the side. Mountain bike. I’ve been to the moon. right?). I drink Dos Equis which makes me interesting. The only question remaining now is if you're a cool girl or a crazy one. it also shows you don’t give a shit about saying stupid stuff like “cray cray”. I race triathlons. the theme of the message will stay the same regardless. I noticed you like <thing>. this next opener requires that you have a bit of common ground with her – meaning. the mountain biking. that’s your in. too. Only some of this is true.many girls have “make me laugh” on their 99 page list of qualities they require in a man (shocking. She just has to have one thing in common with you – so if she says she likes beer. +1 for that. This opener has a qualifier (whatever you think is cool). as well as any others you have. as the next chapter illustrates. This template will become your best friend. some of you will shudder at the idea of saying “cray cray” – but you’d be shocked how many girls will comment back on it. You should save these openers.you need to change some of the “realistic” parts of this (i. Hey <name> (if it’s on her profile). The next opener also requires a quick read of her profile. puts her in a position of chasing you (the +1) and shows that you have high standards (cool versus crazy). I do all of those things. I noticed you like <insert whatever is interesting>. I play guitar. triathlons) to suit yourself. Now. On top of that. guitar. yes. And a stripper. making fun of you – giving you a blatant invitation to flirt with them. There you have it – some of the best openers that I’ve ridden to success with dates and lays while using OKCupid. you’ll need to actually give her profile a quick read through.e.) Of course. I’m a professional princess. SUMMARY  Give serious thought to creating a fake profile just to see how bad most of the messages your fellow men send.  Save all openers into a template for easy access.  Your opener should convey that you are fun. it will work better with your profile and your personality. It improves your confidence and makes you realize that you can certainly do better – the bar is low.  Utilize the openers I’ve provided. but come up with your own over time. and that you don’t have high expectations. 76 . aren’t taking OKCupid like a job. When you see each other in person for the first time. and eventually close the deal. aren’t going to need that many messages to give you their number or agree to a date. Do you qualify? 1. if you use the bank robbery opener. it definitely doesn’t hurt to give her profile a once-over. For example. Once this starts happening. Once she replies to your message.this chapter is one of the shortest ones in the entire book. it is back to square one with her comfort. You notice she wrote that she likes polar bears. utilize push/pull tactics.) If you were to rob a bank. and pictures to start getting good response rates. I’m looking for an accomplice.) Would you do a stealth robbery or would you go in guns a blazin'? 77 . You can work this in at any point in the discussion. So how do you fill the space between opening OKCupid message and going for her number? Ultimately. The most important thing to remember is that you’ll have to do all of this again when you meet up in person. YOU: Hey. you can treat it much like how you would any other inperson seduction. Copying and pasting will not always work. tease her. profile. Do not think of your online messaging swapping and text messaging as a “first date”. I don’t want to encourage you to spend hours exchanging dozens of messages with women. and try to pick out some common ground. a conversation might go something like this. Therefore. Build a little comfort. and you decide to read her profile. and for good reason. she responds. you will have to learn to fend for yourself with this.THE CONVERSATION A fair warning . what would you wear? 2. rest assured that they’ll start to pour in with time. The good girls.) Can you drive stick? 3. While it may take some fine tuning of your opening messages. who are serious about meeting and not wasting your time. so then you can drop the bank robber questions on her as a way of “judging how crazy (or cool) she is. The only question remaining now is if you're a cool girl or a crazy one.HER: 1) I would wear a catwoman suit! 2) No. Another message I like to drop in the middle is one of the openers I’ve already mentioned. alpha attitude that women are naturally drawn to. The best thing you can do is to document all of these in your template and copy/paste them into your conversations. You could say the above after she says something to qualify herself. she’ll either embrace the crazy or deny it. Remember our core rules of a good message and profile though – you need to give the impression that you simply do not care about the results you pull on OKCupid. mixing them together as you exchange messages with cuties. it sounds like more fun. After this. do you think there is a way we could work one into our robbery plan? Is it goofy as hell? You bet it is. You can use one as an opener and then a different opener for a filler message. you’re hired.” Here is an example: 78 . You’ll notice that many of my openers can also be utilized as standalone conversation pieces. 3) Probably guns a blazing. YOU: Alright accomplice. I’ll probably roll my eyes every time I read this. I noticed you liked polar bears. Dorky messages like I’ve demonstrated above give you a carefree. Give her a “+1” (play the “points game” – at five points you’ll buy her a drink) and then drop the line. e. there’s no reason you shouldn’t just go for the number. Some girls are very protective of their number as if it 79 . which qualifies her to you and paints you in the sappealing light of having other girls interested in you. it’s easy to drop in another message that I already mentioned: Best message I ever got: "I want to lather you up in green paint and spank you like a dirty avocado. Once she takes the bait on this. It’s surprisingly easy to get girls numbers online. eight to ten total). and she’s dropping emoticons left and right." If she takes the bait on this and laughs. If this is your fourth or fifth message going back and forth (i.From there you can segue into how absurd some of the other girls on OKCupid are. you’re off to the races. If she’s ovulating and you’re an alpha. you’re aware of how fickle the female emotions are. I’ve successfully closed a girl’s number after two messages. and eventually to in person and the bedroom. and what kind of mood she’s in at that very moment. Is there a magic number on how many messages you should send before you go for the close? I hate to say it. 80 .was their social security or bank account number. you just might be in luck. and also after fifty. It depends on how much she digs you. you’ll learn the same tactics for when to strike to move the interaction off of the Internet. as a seasoned player. This skill is honed with time. The best advice I can give you is to feel the situation out to the best of your ability. However. into texting. Much as how you can learn how to calibrate the timing of a kiss to the most opportune moment. your “messaging chemistry”. but most girls have no problem when it comes to giving out their number. It all depends on the interaction itself. but I haven’t found one. Keep in mind a girl’s emotions vary from hour to hour.  Copying and pasting generic messages will sometimes work. 81 . and maintain a strong. sometimes they can swing wildly minute to minute.  There’s no magic number for how many messages to swap.  It’s good to at least give her profile a glance once you have exchanged a few messages.SUMMARY  Do not spend forever exchanging messages onlineYour conversations should be concise and serve the purpose of closing (next chapter). alpha frame of mind. but you will need to be able to hold a conversation. but humorous. Keep it cocky. and made a conscious effort to respond to every message.THE REAL WORLD The most critical part of OKCupid is getting her off of the website and on to a communication medium where you can talk to her on a more personal level. Asking women out 82 . When you first start the job. you are another one of hundreds of chodes. Realistically. For this example. and throughout the night you get another 20-30. imagine you’re a girl that logs on to OKCupid every evening after work. Occasionally you meet a guy whom you have a decent conversation with. Much like your retail job. When you first made your profile. those who might buy. Sure. provided you have the balls. and your responses become robotic. If you’ve never worked in sales. maybe ten of them are actually interesting enough to hold a decent conversation with. you don’t need any balls to do this. your enthusiasm fades over the prospect of striking up conversation with these strangers. Eventually. and those whom are destined to waste your time. the initial enthusiasm fades. having the same conversations about the same products. let’s say that you work retail. In an eight hour shift. Over time though. but for the most part they are all the same. and using the same methods to close. there’s 15-20 waiting for you. but they are few and far between. it becomes the same exercise in sifting through the garbage to find the people you click with. However. you become almost robotic in your interactions with your customers – using the same openers. Now. If she is interested and not a time waster. You spend a couple hours reading and replying to messages. As long as you are interacting with her on OKCupid. you were excited to talk to everyone. think back to a time in your life that you held a sales position. occasionally you meet a really cool customer with whom you have a great conversation with. you are excited to talk to anyone and everyone. All guys seem to send the same. When you first log on. Out of the 100 customers seen in an eight hour shift. over time. To illustrate this. you’ll have no problem getting her number. Until you get her phone number. You start to judge people the second they walk in the door – you become able to distinguish those who’ll buy. you might see 100 customers. think of a time when you had to sell yourself – such as a job interview. you are just another one of the men in the masses. half-assed messages. go for the kill. Maybe you text her immediately after. for that matter . The reason for this is because if you pick her up while in line at the grocery store. too. or wait a day – the point is that you have the option to simply walk away and leave her wondering about you. and a general sense of 83 . When in person. where. a night out with the girls might result in her giving her number to a couple of guys. The worst case is that she says no. Compare this to a day or night game pickup. and she’s using any kind of smiley faces. OKCupid works a little differently than the real world though. but she may not even remember them (or you. you have to deal with fidgeting. The only caveat to this is that once you close her you’ll still have to continue the interaction offline.online is a piece of cake compared to walking up to them and striking up a conversation. and then you just exchange a few more messages until she’s comfortable. this concept holds true in the online world. On a high note This is the obvious. body language. because she might very well give her number to five different guys in an hour. Pick up artists have preached this for years – make your move when she’s on a “high”. If you’re are having a great conversation with her. Here are a couple very generic points in a conversation where you can go for the number close. once you have her number. For the most part. On an…awkward note You will be surprised at how easy it is to deal with “awkward pauses” on the internet. The best way to close on a high note is to take that momentum and immediately set up a date with her once you have moved on to a texting medium. you walk away. you need to text her immediately so that you distinguish yourself. Many women will do this and then narrow those men down to a couple who she’ll go on a date with that week. and then get out of there. It’s likely the high will wear down. the likelihood of another guy hitting on her in the grocery store is pretty low. Granted. if you are in the middle of a conversation and she gives you her number. and so she doesn’t get you mixed up with another guy she is exchanging messages with. With OKCupid.be high value!). There is a reason I preach on This Is Trouble that you should still be keeping up your approach skills in the real world. Therefore. you do not have the option to just “walk away” and pick the interaction up the next day. Yes. The awkward moments are easily rectified by subtly acknowledging them and taking steps to remedy it. You seem cool. use the emoticon. please let me know so I can give proper credit. Plus. it's tedious. but can’t for the life of me find the original post. I’ve actually had many girls tell me it is difficult to get actual dates. Yes.nervousness. Get it over with. If you find the original somewhere. If you run out of things to talk about with her over messages. just go for the close! You’ll be amazed how often this works. For the record. Despite the common belief that girls have unlimited dates from being on dating websites such as OKCupid. I found this closer on a message board somewhere. they have lots of men propositioning them for phone numbers. The true reason you want to be straightforward with the close will probably surprise you. nearly every guy on OKCupid wants to 84 . while being genuine about your intentions.. Yes. remove it. In the end it's all about chemistry so. their inboxes are flooded with messages. If not.. Most girls have a good social sense about online dating – they realize that they can only learn so much about a person through exchanging messages on a virtual interface. You don’t have to “try to be friends” or any other incessant garbage that nice guys do. I’ve found the following message to be extremely effective in these situations. The closing message is one point in the conversation where you really must get to the point. This closing message is very effective on a high note. But. and either take her out for a drink or stop messaging her. as well. Some examples are: ▪ ▪ ▪ Let’s get a drink. I don’t use any other “canned” closing messages – they are all very generic and to the point. I hate messaging on here. There is no sense beating around the bush. all illusions we build on here are shattered within 3 minutes of meeting in person. online you have all of the time in the world. How about a drink? Let’s go out and see if we have chemistry.quick drink to see if we get along? :) If you think you need to establish a little more comfort with her. and if you play your cards right. Moving the interaction on to text Once you’re in possession of her phone number. but he won’t ever man up and get her out. Just one simple word which sends the message that you plan to actually set up a date. “Let’s hang out” is a phrase used by high school boys who are too scared to ask a girl out for an ice cream. If you use any of the openers I’ve mentioned so far. When you phrase your closer that way. as there is an easy way to take back control of the interaction. that sounds good :) After someone asks you out on a date. You would think that when a girl consents to going out with you . you won’t come across as a grown man. which is simply not a strong close for online dating purposes. She will drop a response along the lines of: Okay. You text one thing. you 85 . the logical thing would be to provide them with an alternative method of contacting you to set up a date and time.upon sending you the message with their explicit consent – that they would give you their phone number. and that you are a man who will swat away her silly shit tests and games like the pesky insects they are. you will find that girls like to play a silly little game after you ask them out. No smiley faces. when it comes down to it. yes. but for an online closer it is weak. Despite all of that. It can be used to great effect in person to make the date seem more casual and less seductive. they insist on making you chase them one step further. It rarely happens. Often. they would love to go out with you. a guy will get her number. they don’t go on many dates because men don’t take the initiative. and women who aren’t in high school will hold it against you. You are fresh in her mind.have sex with them. I recommend moving the interaction immediately to text. No date plans. They will phrase their closing message as “let’s hang out”. and one thing only: “number” No capitalization. and you don’t have any contact information for them besides a dating website. Even though they will message you back and say. Don’t fret. they’ll text a few times. You are a new guy who she just gave her number to. If she gives you her number.can have a date set up for tonight. Being simply normal in regards to texting will get you farther than you would expect at this point. you will find that text messaging is not the only form of communication where callback humor can be utilized by. there’s no need to go over the top to impress at this point. you know that she’s already on a computer or phone. Busy is a word used by all girls as a nonsense excuse as to why they didn’t text a guy back. It makes no sense to play the “wait to text her” game. and nothing less. It’s a very powerful tool in the player’s arsenal. accomplice. This will give her the impression you sit around on OKCupid all day waiting for messages to come flowing in. continue it. If she goes offline and then sends you her number. say. In this case. I recommend waiting around a half an hour to an hour to send her a first text message. Remember how many messages she gets! She very well might have gotten another twenty messages on OKCupid since then. therefore it’s reasonable to expect that she won’t play too many bullshit games with you – and you know she’s probably not “busy”. As you get more experienced with women. There is one exception to this. You’ve already done that on OKCupid – you don’t need to follow an entire seduction model over texting. If you already have an inside joke together. Speaking of first text messages. I might send something along the lines of: I’ve picked out a target for our heist. It could range anywhere from putting their dog down to taking a shit. nothing more. use it! If I’d utilized the bank robbing opener. doubling her waiting time and waiting ten hours to respond is ridiculous. Once you have the momentum of getting her phone number. If she’s already given you her number. 86 . so it’s an ideal time to text. within a few texts. by all means. there’s a good chance she’ll go out with you – don’t blow it. Do not try to get overly flirtatious or sexual – it will just scare her off. too (unlike when you meet in person). Texting is a medium to set up a date. five hours later – do not text her immediately. Is your car ready for our getaway from the bank? Did you figure out what you’re going to wear for our robbery? This is callback humor. which lowers your value in her eyes. or later that week. However. this week I’m open on Wednesday and Thursday nights after that. I don’t – I think it’s better to swap at least a couple of text messages before moving on to that. It’s my second favorite <name. it’s <your name> from OKC. and she appreciates that. texts before you set up the date. or profession. I’m going to use the bank robbery routine again. jumping the gun and immediately proposing a date and time can make it seem like you don’t have other options. Keep it simple. a smooth transition would look something like this: Me: I’ve picked out a target for our heist. I use “guitarist”> from OKC. such as “nurse”>. A common question I receive is whether you should pitch the date on the first text you send her. I’ll text you the place and a secret signal on Thursday. Her: Hahaha wow. Me: Thursday night it is. I need a cool name for you in my phone. Her: Ohhh.Some other text openers you can use once you have her number are: So. Again. stupid. You’ll need to be on your game. Hey <name>. but not more than five to seven. Me: I know. Personally. when are you free to pull this off? Her: Well I work Monday through Friday until 6pm. Instead. So. our adventure begins. you’re crazy. 87 . you do not need to go over the top when you first reach out to her via text. accomplice. After I send one of the three text messages previously shown. What’s up? It’s your favorite sexy <quality about you. While the goal is definitely to get her out in person. really? What is it? Me: The big bank on First Street. I’ve found it’s better to wait a couple. Do not relinquish this power. Do not offer to go to her. Me: It’s your favorite sexy <quality about you. Wear a dress. when are you free for a drink? Her: I work all weekend. and set up a date with her confirmation. just let it be. I’ll text you a place that morning. you want to text her with the time and place. they will text back saying that that sounds good. all within eight text messages. unless you are meeting her that very night.Her: Okay sounds good! ☺ You’ve kept it light hearted. If that’s the case. 8pm. Generally speaking. with a decision already made. Her: I’m Melanie and you are? Me: Kyle. I highly recommend the following. you want a good reason to text her to confirm on the day of the date. So Melanie. Most of the time. but I think I’m free Monday. Bar ABC on XYZ Street. and phrase the confirmation text like this. Pick a bar near your house. Bar ABC on XYZ Street. you already have her chasing you. Her: Haha hi! Me: I need your name. btw. which is a good thing. The day of the date. Me: Monday it is. 88 . 8pm. Her: Okay sounds good! ☺ You might be wondering why you don’t set up a firm time and place on these first text messages. Let’s look at another potential example. For those feeling a bit more bold. Do not ask her where she would like to go. Show up at the date later and follow the rest of the advice in this book. If she texts you to confirm. I use “guitarist”> from OKC. used callback humor. etc.) Don’t think too much of it if she disobeys your orders about wearing a dress or a skirt. it’s getting kind of late. which is a huge turn on for her. Like I said. try the following. Once the date is confirmed. as well as the girls who think its fair game to use a picture of them that is three years old. Enjoy the rest of the afternoon and look forward to being balls deep in a cute girl later. the best method is to simply ask. you’ll to know early enough in the day so that you can arrange another date or make plans with friends. If she only has one picture. Any girl worthy of your time will happily oblige your request to not get catfished. you need to punish her. Tell her she’s a bad girl for not wearing a dress. I like dresses and skirts. A girl who balks at this. she is already open to taking orders from you. just tease her mercilessly and make her chase you once you’re on the date. Often. calls you shallow. now is your best time to screen for them. For those of you. or questions your trust is not worth pursuing any further. The next question I get after what opener to send is when to send the details on the day of the date. The only fun you can have with such a date is if you truly don’t give a fuck. Bar ABC on XYZ Street. If she plans on flaking on you. girls will come straight from work to the date. 8pm. Erase her number and move on to the next one. your work is done. If she doesn’t have many pictures? Remember those secret internet fatties I talked about? Well. Few things are worse than showing up and to find a girl who looked like an eight online turns out to be a five. Hint hint . who want to be a little more daring but maybe not quite as bold as the above demand. If she texts back saying that she won’t be wearing a dress. As far as getting more pictures. A simple text right after you’ve exchanged a few messages will suffice: Do you have any more pics? 89 . simply ignore it and tease her mercilessly once you are on the date. or you think she’s hiding a few pounds. you must ask for more pictures.If she agrees to this. By the evening. and see how far you can push her buttons before she walks out on you. I recommend doing it around lunchtime or early afternoon. make sure the first contact you make with her after obtaining her phone number is via text.I do not recommend you ask if she has any recent pictures . there are still some people with the notion that a man who doesn’t call a girl on the phone and ask her out is a pussy. but it’s no longer the year 2000. a girl here or there will insist on a phone or Skype call prior to meeting with you. we’re not on OKCupid for that – are we? You don’t need to call a girl to set up a date. Do you call her? Believe it or not. sometimes the girls who are trying to hide the extra pounds won’t pick up the hint. Perhaps sending her a strong message by not texting her back will encourage her to drop a few pounds. nothing more needs to be said. If you absolutely insist on calling her before the date. In fact. If she does send you a full body picture and she was hiding something. The majority of your online dates will begin with you never having heard the voice of your date. Texting has replaced calling as the primary communication method when it comes to seduction. so she had it coming. use the below text. and this is fine. How about a full body pic? Again. at least until you move much farther down the road into a semi-serious relationship. or had a hotter body. she really is trying to deceive you and you should just move on. Sure. if she balks at this. Every woman under fifty in a developed country is 100% proficient with an iPhone and text messaging. simply don’t respond. If she’s too fat for you. Of course. If she does this. Is it mean? Absolutely. There is no way in hell a 90 .this automatically implies that she is deceiving you from the get-go by using old. and better photographs from when she was better looking. younger. Sorry. she’ll probably think you are a weirdo for doing so. She will have five photographs on her profile. Hell. even my eighty year old grandparents text me now rather than calling. none of her body. but experience tells me that she won’t be as easy as a girl who will meet you after swapping a few text messages. but she is the one who chose to be dishonest. and then when you send the above text she’ll send you more photos without her body in the picture. But. Never. 91 . Voicemails are the death of seduction and you should never leave them.girl will pick up a number that isn’t programmed into her phone. and you definitely do not want to be leaving a voicemail – they are nothing but trouble. ▪ Do not confirm the location of your date or the time until the day of the date. and full-body pictures if she doesn’t have them posted on her profile. ▪ Use callback humor. 8pm. ▪ You can number close her online at different times – both high and low points. ▪ Use a closing message that’s strong. move to setting up the date. ▪ When you do confirm the date and time. ▪ Phone calls…no. ▪ Do not get caught in text limbo – after a couple messages. 92 . you can use them to your advantage. ▪ If she agrees to a date and doesn’t offer a number.” ▪ Obtain additional photos if she doesn’t have many. if available. You do not want to get stuck on a date with a girl you aren’t attracted to. the first time you reach out to her via text. “Bar ABC on XYZ Street. There is really no such thing as an “awkward” moment online – in fact. which happens often. Voicemails…never. and implies you understand OKCupid is not a way to get to know someone.SUMMARY ▪ You are just another forgettable face until you get her off of OKCupid and move to a texting medium. do so in a direct manner. simply text “number”. Alcohol is sex fuel. or you can bring along some vodka and mix it in with something like a Sprite while you 93 . Remember.THE DATE While this is a book on OKCupid. She wants to look up to you. a girl will never hold it against you if you push the interaction too fast. Remember. and it isn’t rape if you both have a couple of drinks and have sex. singular drink significantly increases your chances of sex as opposed to staying stone cold sober . but she will hold it against you if you are a pussy. Please. go out on a date with you. i.one where you purposely cut the date off after a certain time limit. it seems it would be cruel if I gave you all of this information on how to get dates and then just left you on your own in regards to the date itself. She is a grown woman who chose to go on OKCupid. but if you don’t have some game in real life. so I’m more inclined to push the interaction as far as I can in the first meeting. The first date should involve alcohol (obviously there are some circumstances where this isn’t possible. Now. so be prepared to push the interaction as far as possible in order to sexualize it.e.though that’s not to say it can’t be done. and should generally be casual. but can also be an easy path to the friend zone. you obviously don’t have the luxury of going to a bar. girls will eat you alive in person. if she doesn’t drink. You can be the most suave man in the history of the planet online. You can invite her directly over to drink (more on this in a minute). then your options are a little more limited. should be near your apartment. one of you doesn’t drink or she isn’t 21 – pussy isn’t worth jail time!). as long as you can keep up a good conversation. If she is under 21 but does drink (pro tip: most do). Museums and art exhibits can be good date venues – this is provided you like those sorts of things and can talk about them in an intelligent manner. girls like men who know more than they do. Let’s start with the first point above . or you don’t drink. Personally. Coffee is good. with the intent of simply inviting her over to meet you on the second date and making a move then. and then have sex with you. A casual walk around the park with ice cream can be good fun.alcohol. I like the thrill of meeting and banging on the first night. Some experts will recommend a two date model . do not guilt trip yourself into not making a move on her because she had a couple of drinks on your date. Having one. That’s your decision to make. Just make sure not to get her too sloshed. it’s perfectly fine to order appetizers at a bar. because you’re right next to her and can cross that physical barrier. the lighting. I do recommend asking rather than directly telling her to come to your apartment – girls are far more likely to balk at this. and the less you do – the better. 94 . which is a vital part of the seduction process. movies. you should think of bars close to your apartment. Learn to make some good cocktails and ask her what she likes. The majority will not just waltz over to your apartment and spread their legs. 8pm”.) Explicitly invite her over. If you can skip “going out and then convincing her to come home after a drink or two” and get her straight to your apartment. but you get my point. picking a venue close to your apartment is absolutely critical to banging a girl on a date. Dates you should always avoid regardless of whether or not there is alcohol involved include dinner. and the best part is that you get to be a lazy fucker – which will attract her more. I know what you’re thinking. simply ask if she’d like to come have a drink at your apartment. There are two ways you can get her to come directly to your apartment. tell her you make a mean martini. “No girl in her right mind would ever just meet me at my apartment for our first date after we met online. The more effort she puts in. the music.the last thing you want is to be responsible for an underage girl killing a few innocent people in her vehicle because you poured her two shots of cheap $7. Moving on to logistics. preferably within walking distance.” and you’d be right. I don’t recommend it because greasy bar food soaks up the alcohol that helps her make the decisions to sleep with players like you. and anything that prevents you from being able to actively touch her. you will be shocked how many will come right over to your pad. If she says she likes gin. your job is a hell of a lot easier. You can control how strong her drinks are. A dinner table is a massive cockblock. don’t throw out the idea of simply inviting her directly over to your apartment. 1. She should always be working to please you. and make sure she has a solid ride home . and you don’t want to give the impression you’re not willing to meet in public. Rather than “Bar XYZ. For example. But.walk around a park or the downtown area of your city.99 vodka in a paper cup of soda. Naturally. But. Most will agree to this without any issue. come up real quick.it’s just another way of giving her plausible deniability. Then. Not a big beer person. go down and give her a quick hello. This would start after the first couple of text messages. Of course. 8pm. It’s pretty easy for them to simply meet you at your apartment if they plan to meet you at a bar anyway. the day of the date: Hey just meet me at my apartment. come up and meet him real quick. you don’t actually have to go out . It can be anything. ▪ ▪ ▪ I have to feed my dog. she’ll either give you a yes or a no. you could phrase the invite such as: Me: Bar ABC on XYZ Street. once she is already over. parking will be easier and we’ll just walk over. Her (to friend): “Well…he said we were going out after one drink. she’ll never know the difference). but then we had another drink and…sex just happened!” Her Friend: “OMG that’s so cute!!!” 2. etc. I make a mean martini. when she shows up. My address is 123 ABC Street. I like most hard liquors. gin and vodka mostly. Wear a dress. let me know when you’re outside. I just got a fancy bottle of wine from a client today (tip: buy the most expensive looking bottle under $10. Her: Okay sounds good! Me. swapping names. Then make up some excuse for her to come up. Want to come here for a drink first and then head out? From here. If you pick a venue just down the street from you. then we’ll head out. Me: I actually have a great home bar.) Or…you can be a sneaky bastard. Me: What do you like to drink? Her: Hmm. I have to piss.I’d recommend a texting exchange something like the below. want to have a quick glass before we head to the bar? 95 . Is it borderline lunacy for a girl to come straight to the apartment of a guy that she just met on the Internet? Of course it is! But. When date time 96 . the subconscious wins. that’s what gets the vaginal juices flowing. because most girls are not going to be willing to come straight into your apartment for a first “date”. Do not say this with a deadpan delivery unless you want her running to the police station. Either way. or even a full smile will show that you’re just giving her a hard time. The key to this trick is to be nearly ready to go and already looking sharp for the date. In fact. Then I’ll hang your head on the wall with the 50 other girls I’ve killed off OKCupid so far.” You must have the proper facial expression with this one! A smirk. you should set the first date at a place near you. sometimes. they will really want to go out after you have one drink or she meets your dog. I’m going to cut you up into little pieces and stick you in my freezer. and you should plan your responses. come up real quick while I finish wiping my ass. and nights accordingly. Control your excitement though. you should be looking your best so she gets the impression you’re a safe guy. budget. Assuming you are now going out for your first date with a girl off of OKCupid. Often. her subconscious will be thinking about what a confident guy you are to simply invite her over. Granted. with either one of the proposed methods above is. What if you are a serial killer? The thought of it is terrifying. you’re better off because they have already been in your place. So while every part of their conscious being will scream at a woman to not go upstairs to your apartment. You are actually going to have to take most girls out to get them into bed with you. This is to be expected. but fear is a more arousing emotion than safety can ever be. as I’ve already discussed. When you go to greet her. “What if you’re a serial killer?!” The best answer is: “I’m TOTALLY a serial killer. Setting up plausible deniability so she can tell her friends that sex “just happened” is a critical part of getting quick bangs. inhibitions fall away.▪ I was in the middle of taking a shit when you called. and they feel comfortable with it. and she sleeps with you. The biggest shit test you will get for coming up to your apartment. If you feel confident and comfortable in a pair of jeans and a basic solidcolored V-neck t-shirt. Don’t ever bother showing up on time to meet a girl for an OKCupid date. It should consist of a shower and other basic hygienic care – brushing your teeth.). Once I get her text. I’m OCD about being on time and can’t stand to be late anywhere. so my routine is to walk to a nearby bar and grab a quick drink there. will absolutely be held against you. and pay for the first round no matter what. go through your usual pre-date routine. Always pay in cash and then if you want a second round. shaving or trimming your facial hair. Order your drinks. if she’s already sitting at the bar.rolls around. I tend to sport a nice pair of jeans. not sitting directly next to her. Because she is a girl. but offer to pick up the second round. Sometimes. cleaning up your pubes if needed. split. and dressing sharp. then rock that. etc.worst case scenario is that you keep her waiting for a bit – which signals your higher value. You are in control and making the decisions. there is a very good chance she will be late. dress shoes and a blazer. The only rule I adhere to at all times is to wear long pants. To ask her to pay or worse. Never wear cargo or basketball shorts. tell her it’s her turn to pay. Doing so makes you look like a boy who can hardly dress himself. If she already has a drink when you get there. I pay the tab and take my time walking to her. Personally. that’s fine. Being five. don’t hesitate to direct her to a different spot. I’ll just touch her back lightly. Best case scenario is that she’s late and you aren’t kept waiting . 97 . usually with a t-shirt underneath. not her. I relax in that venue until she texts me to let me know she’s at the spot where I told her to meet me. This also varies depending upon the seasons and weather. If she picks a spot that isn’t good (heavy foot traffic. I greet her with a light hug most of the time. How sharp you want to dress is up to you. or even ten minutes late is not a big deal – it’s actually a great demonstration of higher value. SUMMARY  Whenever possible. she probably drinks anyway. the venue should be close (ten minutes or less) walk to your place of residence. which is sex fuel.  Girls will come to your apartment more often than you’d believe – don’t hesitate to just invite them over. 98 .  Always pay for the first round. Hang out at home and pre-drink.  Greet with a hug when possible.e.”  She’ll probably be late.  If she isn’t 21. or have her come up for some bullshit excuse before heading out – “I was in the middle of taking a shit when you called. the first date should include alcohol. Just be careful. come up real quick while I finish wiping my ass. but don’t stress too much if it’s not feasible (i. so one-up her. Just one drink greatly bumps the odds in your favor. with cash. or chill at another local venue while she waits for you. she’s already sitting). Ideally. All of the attraction and rapport that you built over OKCupid messages and text messages is gone – you’re working with a clean slate.com/2014/11/20/questions-game/) At the start of the date. Don’t worry about her holding this against you. majors in college – the usual boring date questions. it’s an important part of getting to know at least a few things about each other before you plunge your meat into her snatch. time to play the questions game. for the rest of your date. You set the ground rules as follows: 99 . She’ll (hopefully) say something that you find interesting. The best part is. just say something along the lines of: “That’s cool. which is here: http://thisistrouble. it’s vital to remember that when you are meeting for the first time. Don’t talk “fluff” forever. hobbies. jobs. This game allows you to judge how down she is to fuck. Sooner or later. and you will get better at recognizing these over time. you will get an opening. It’s important to make her feel comfortable. It’s important to start sexualizing the conversation to begin turning her on. Talking about sex makes her think about sex. any awkward pause can be easily ended by a simple. so start with basic “fluff” questions: where she’s from. I like that. Transitioning to the Questions Game is easy. though. but would normally get you labeled as a whack job if you just started blurting them out of thin air. and once that topic of conversation has died down. Okay. or whether your time would be best served by bouncing out after one drink. The Questions Game can also be used to your advantage to get the conversation rolling again if things are stalling out. you must start over from square one. “So is it your turn or mine?” The Questions Game gives you a safe haven to ask the questions that you really want to know about a girl.THE BOUNCE (Note: parts of the below were taken from a blog post I wrote on 11/20/14. which turns her on. The best way to start sexualizing the conversation and making it really interesting is to play the Questions Game. Have you played before?” Her answer to the question doesn’t matter. I continue dropping the sex questions. It’s important to ask that final question about her number before she asks you! If you are a player with a respectable notch count. She might throw a shit test at you. Rule #2 – “You get one follow up question – meaning that if you ask what my dream car is. no skips. Rule #1 – “You get one question at a time – you cannot ask a question you have already been asked.       When was the last time you masturbated? What’s your favorite position? What is your biggest fantasy? Do you like a man who takes control in the bedroom? Kinkiest place you’ve had sex? How many people have you had sex with? You get the point of this game – to talk about sex.” 100 .” They will often fake skepticism about the game. but they always warm up to it. Rule #4 (Optional) – “I get to go first. When was the last time…you had sex?” She might be shocked. asking if you play this game on all your dates. If she’s fun. Unless we run out of questions and want to do this for fun. but most girls will answer with just a little bit of prodding. you can ask me what color Ferrari I want. I drop this: “Ohh. resulting in her slut defense going through the roof. I like to drop this: “Let’s get out of here and go back to my place. After that. (Pause for dramatic effect). Rule #3 – “You have to answer every question honestly.” 3. you’ll understand where I’m coming from on this. I have a good one. There isn’t a good way to answer that question. You can just say yes and give her a smirk. and I say Ferrari. where would it be? If you could re-do any part of your life. After we go back and forth with this game for anywhere from a half hour to an hour (or roughly two drinks consumed).” 4. The trick to the Questions Game is to start with relatively “innocent” questions. Say a number too low and she’ll think you have no game. what would it be? And why? After you run through these three. say a number too high and you’ll give off too strong of a player vibe.1.” 2. she will start asking you sexual questions back. Some examples of innocent questions:    What is your ultimate goal? If you could travel anywhere in the world. and then transition into sex. and how to fuck her properly. Bring out the guitar if you play. stick around for a few more minutes to give the impression that you weren’t just trying to sleep with her. As we wrap up this section of the book. you’ve probably realized that the entire art of meeting girls on OKCupid and getting them back to your apartment for adult fun is quite the process from A to B. and go on my merry way – walking back to my apartment because I picked a venue close to my apartment. bundle her in the car. Doing the latter will set expectations regarding sex that she doesn’t want to bear. and continue to move the seduction forward. and I don’t want to give the impression that I am going to entertain her for the whole evening. if she turns down the invitation to come over. and of course – your game. girls want to live in the moment and say that it “just happened. Yes. If the parking situation is shitty and it’s less than a ten minute walk. pour her another drink. Eventually. It is yours to fuck up at this point. Most times. My general rule of thumb is that I don’t stick around for more than two drinks unless she is going to continue footing the bill. being lazy and asking for a ride home – then offering to have her come up can definitely work. that’s fine. tell her you’ll drive her back to her car later. I used to mess around with kiss-close gimmicks. do not say you will drive her back the next morning.” Once back at your apartment. If she balks at this. Remember. or show her the cool photo album from your vacation. even if all I’m doing is going home to take a dump. how you close her number. There are countless more resources on my blog in regards to making drinks. I have found what I believe is the most successful system for getting the bang with OKCupid girls. speed. if she decides that she would like to return to your pad – you have a very good chance of sealing the deal. I usually make my move somewhere on the walk. but this system is designed for maximum efficiency. they’ll accept. and then tell her you have to go and offer to walk her to her car. the logistics of the bar. The little details matter. So. often starting by holding her hand and then just pulling her into me whenever I feel like it. it can be a lot of work. but I have found that the best way to do it is just go for it without hesitation. (Note: If you don’t try to get her back to your place at the bar. and 101 . put some music on. overcoming resistance to sex.) On the flip side. how you pitch the date. or just start stripping her naked on the couch. but valuable reading. then by all means have her drive her car to your place. but if you play the game correctly your odds are incredible at this point in the night. from the distance you specify for matches. I have plenty of other things to do. move things to the bedroom. These topics are beyond the scope of this book. If your apartment or house has a good parking situation.Note that it’s explicitly not a question. I kiss her goodbye. you will go on more dates. and be inspired to write about your own tales. 102 . If you take everything in this book and apply it.results. bang more girls. SUMMARY  Remember that once you meet “offline”, you are back to square one. You must reestablish the comfort you built up on OKCupid and text messages. Do this with “fluff” conversation.  Utilize the Questions Game to transition to sexual topics. Remember to start with “innocent” questions like what her hobbies are.  If she begins asking you sexual questions in return, you are doing things right and she is getting turned on.  Tell her to come back to your place. A girl will never hold it against you for pushing hard, but if you are a pussy she will punish you for it.  If she balks at the offer, it’s no big deal. Walk her to her car, kiss her, and see her again (if you want to).  If she agrees, have her drive you back to your pad if parking is ideal.  Once inside, utilize game tactics to seal the deal. Take a browse through my blog’s archives if you need specific information, or email me and I’ll be glad to help you out. 103 THE FAQs While this book is designed as a general guideline for how to handle your interactions on OKCupid, there are unique situations constantly arising that don’t follow the “model” I’ve laid out. Of course, every part of game and seduction has its own grey areas, and it’s up to you to learn how to handle them and deal accordingly in a personalized way. In time, this becomes easy as you go on more dates, get more notches, and generally care less and less about the girls whose vaginas you are penetrating. In this chapter, I’m going to introduce you into some situations that don’t fall into the normal flow I’ve followed in the rest of the book. How often these occurrences happen will depend on what you ultimately decide to write on your profile, how good looking you are, and how the ratios are in your respective cities. With that being said, here is the ultimate OKCupid FAQ guide. “What if she looks at my profile but doesn’t message me?” It’s rare that an attractive girl will actively be looking for a match. Most of the time, they will be too busy drowning in oceans of messages from hundreds of desperate dudes. However, it does happen! If she happens to click on your profile, but doesn’t say anything, send this opening message: “Just looking at my profile, not gonna say anything? You are a perv, young lady.” Or, alternatively: “Just looking but not gonna message me? Are you stalking me?!” This immediately puts her in a defensive position, which, as you’ve already learned, is exactly where you want her to be. She is now chasing you. Attractive men are pursued by women. Unattractive men pursue women. 104 Most likely, she will write something back along the lines of: “OMG haha, I never write first!” To which you can make fun of her for being a chicken, tell her she needs to step her game up, or tell her you expect to be wined and dined before sleeping together. The possibilities are endless. The best part about this situation, is that if she clicked your profile, there’s a good chance she found you attractive. Again, between all of her messages, she chose to search for men, and then chose to click on your picture. There is a good chance that there is at least a little bit of attraction that you can take advantage of spiking it up to your own advantage. After the initial banter has passed, you can simply transition into your usual flow of messages and interactions. A dirty little secret I’ll share with you is how to use this model as a way to build leads. As you’ve likely noticed, while are online you receive notifications in the bottom right hand corner of your screen when someone visits your profile or you receive a message. If you are searching for girls who are “Online Now”, as you should be,then you’ll realize that girls are getting the exact same notifications. Often, when a guy visits them, they’ll click the notification and immediately visit your page. They will rarely message you first, so use this to your advantage. Wait five to ten minutes, after you know she has had time to fall in love with your profile, and then throw the above openers at her calling her a perv or a stalker. If she responds, and isn’t thick in the head, she’ll call you out for visiting her first and not saying anything. Most likely along the lines of: “You looked at my profile first! You’re the perv!” “You looked first so you must be stalking me.” These are easy to beat shit tests which you can counter by simply agreeing and amplifying her statement. “Yes, I am the world’s biggest perv.” “Yes, I am totally stalking you, in fact I’m in front of your house right now in the white van.” 105 so if you are prone to going soft and getting jealous . you are better off just not knowing. kick her to the curb. Of course. You should never try again more than once. you seemed cool and I’d kick myself if I didn’t try again. 106 . so I’ll answer it for you right now . but it’s happening. Hopefully it works for you. Yes. this is the 21st century. shit happens. take a peak and see if she’s online. Don’t sit around all day hitting refresh on your browser. too. Sometimes the darnedest things will take your interaction from sky high to ground zero. A man who is already fucking three girls doesn’t really care if the new girl he meets has someone she’s been on two dates with. If she tells you these things despite your protests. or as close to real-time as we can get. but as you clean up your messages every few days. it simply won’t bother you. “Hey.” My response rate on this one is about 30-40%. I’m not one to send a second “canned” opener. Don’t be one of those guys who messages a girl five times in a row as to why she isn’t responding to you. Maybe she went offline and her mom died the next day. Sometimes though. she is likely going to go on a date with a few of them at some point or another. “She told me she’s dating other guys!” Buddy. The best way to restart an interaction is to do so when she is online and most likely to receive your message in real-time.simply don’t ask.I like to call this tactic “baiting”. If she is. Jealousy is an extreme demonstration of low value. it’s not worth if it she isn’t digging me from the start. It’s straight forward. the following message is a good option. and honest. there isn’t a lot you can do. But sometimes. does he? Hell no. She’s interacting with dozens of dudes a day. All’s fair in love and war. “What do I do if we’re having a great conversation and she just stops responding?” Truthfully. you might ask yourself if you’re being a bit desperate. If your inner frame and confidence is strong enough. to the point. Eventually the tolls of dating can wear down on the best of us.you are being desperate. At that point. and didn’t log on to OKCupid for two weeks. Kill the jealousy. and this is online dating. a classy girl who is worth a relationship would refuse to tell you any of this. and other times I’ve run two separate profiles . at the moment. I strongly encourage you to use your computer with a full monitor (preferably two or three) for maximum efficiency. despite their nubile looks. I much prefer dating girls my age or older at this point in my life. I get bored and irritated. I suspect that when I’m a little older.one with my real age of 23 and another saying I’m 27. Plus.“Should I lie about my age?” My answer is…it depends. However. but make sure it’s believable. I’m 23 years old. is to go to spring break in Cancun. How romantic is that? Picking up girls while sitting on the toilet is a pretty standard occurrence in today’s world. It’s great to get notifications of responses throughout the day. So. At times I’ve used one profile and spiked my age up to 25. so be it. That’s not to say that the mobile applications don’t have their place. I will generally just find all girls to be the same and will be able to better tolerate the 18 year olds. Time is everything for a valuable man. It’s great if you work all day. The computer is much more efficient and productive than using your smartphone to copy and paste messages. It’s a fantastic way to escape to the toilet and fire off responses. the fact that I can’t take them out for a drink (sex fuel!) greatly hinders my enthusiasm for them. since using your work computer for OKCupid isn’t the best idea. and more. 107 . so you can message back in a timely manner and keep the leads hot. I’ve lied and run profiles with an exaggerated age. scan profiles and questions. “Should I use the mobile app or my desktop computer?” OKCupid has both a web interface that can be accessed from any browser. You can lie. I personally can’t stand going out with 18 year old girls whose greatest ambition in life. but much farther along in life than the average man my age in regards to career and overall maturity. If this means that you have to dedicate a specific night to farm for numbers. as well as an Android and iPhone application. which you’ll come to realize as you utilize this book and are going out on five dates a week. I strongly encourage you to read the chapter on the details box and figure out what is “within reason”. so keep this in mind. I’m not a fan of Firefox or Internet Explorer. it will be more work than it’s worth to try to get unbanned. If you try this and receive the same “technical difficulties” error. It is rather inconsiderate for OKCupid to not bother informing you of this whether on the login screen or via email. cookies. 1. etc. which is available on Chrome and Opera browsers. take these steps. Now it’s been several more days and it says the same thing. there are a few ways around the situation. 3. 2. If you are on a Mac with OSX. There are both free and paid versions out there. Using another computer will sometimes work. What’s up?” I hate to be the one to break it to you. but you’ve been banned. It will kill your bandwidth though. 108 . “If I’m banned can I get unbanned?” It has happened to me a few times. just create a new account. 4.“When I try to log in to OKCupid it said that they’re having technical difficulties and to try again later. I like to use the “Cyberghost VPN” plugin. and my emails to the OKCupid staff requesting more information fell upon deaf ears. but there are alternatives for these platforms. Clear all history in your browser – cache. Most likely. Get a proxy server or VPN to change your IP. Why do people get banned? Frankly. 3. Google how to do the OSX equivalent. OKCupid doesn’t need a reason to ban you – it’s their site to administer as they please. Unplug your router and modem for 24 hours. Most likely. use separate IP addresses). you got banned for having multiple accounts (if you do this. player. Delete the app from your smartphone. This should reset your IP address. but that’s their rights since they are providing a free service to begin with. Instead. Delete all the files in your C:\Windows\Temp folder. 1. In the event you can’t go without your internet for a day. or perhaps inappropriate pictures and/or profile text. 2. The world has changed drastically. and money. Likewise. Simply put. sleep. and any of my students would be happy to tell you about my level of game.despite the fact that this book will become a New York Times best seller if the following prediction comes true. Going out five nights a week. was costing me too much money. However. My patience wanes after too many long nights at the clubs. I’m pretty outgoing. I could turn on my computer and chat with cute girls. time. and life 109 . and I found that going out resulted in a lot of sunken time – not to say that there weren’t plenty of good times and fruits from the labor. specifically to game girls.THE FINALE It pains me to say this. Usually. I predict that in coming years. I wanted to date pretty girls but not have to go out five times a week. I’m a big fan of measuring things in opportunity cost. as the “Pick Up Artist” material becomes more and more mainstream. or have access to a higher tier of social status than your average guy. When I say this. as it’s called. I realized I was far away from that next level where I could have “passive pussy”. When I first started using OKCupid and other forms of online and electronic dating. I mean a social tier where the girls do not require extreme amounts of energy to obtain. this is accomplished by good connections. I don’t know a single person in my social circle who attends church more than once every few years to make Grandma happy. because that’s just not me. “Game” is a part of life. but it just doesn’t interest me. technology based dating will become more common that “organic” meetings. the more you will see bars being filled up with bad game. That’s why I set out to develop a system where. enjoy the process. Everyone used to meet their spouses in church or through mutual acquaintances. Men will either have to have extraordinary patience. such as writing this book. there were several months of fine-tuning things before I started going on five dates a week – which I quickly tired of. and I sincerely hope it doesn’t become reality . It didn’t happen overnight. eventually getting their numbers and asking them out. and most importantly – other opportunities. on any night of the week. as someone who studied economics at university. These days. and don’t change too many things at once. I want to hear your stories. not a marathon. I promise you that if you follow the advice given in this book. edited it. gave input. Whether you helped with the title. I owe a big thank you to everyone who contributed to this book in one way or another. Make sure to visit my blog: http://www. or just gave me a little encouragement – I can’t express my gratitude. and I’m glad I finally got it out.com 110 .is a sprint.com) at any point and share your experiences. Finally.thisistrouble. Please don’t hesitate to send me an email (thisistroubleblog@gmail. This book has been a year in the making. Nothing would make me prouder than to have a chapter dedicated to reader success stories in the next revision of Cracking OKCupid. both good and bad. and continue working on yourself to become the best man you can be. you’ll start getting plenty of dates from OKCupid.